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The NBA Trade That Never Was

It was the deal that never was. Should we belabor the point? Will Kobe Bryant remain happy as a Los Angeles Laker, since GM Mitch Kupchak couldn't swing a deal to move his unhappy superstar? It's moot, right?

Oh, he was going to the Chicago Bulls alright. Fans in the windy city were channeling days of Jordan yore, hoping Bryant would don a blood red jersey and end the team's futility post 23. But Kupchak wanted more than the fat kid Jerry Kraus had in his lunch box. No deal!

Of course, the New York Knicks could have landed Bryant, too. What with Isiah Thomas’ 12-man roster of guards, none of which could hold a candle to the former NBA and Indiana Hoosier great. Do you really think Kupchak was manning his phone, putting in the long hours to get some kind of deal done? Let’s see, yeah. Okay, Laker fans, what do you think? We jet Kobe to the east coast for David Lee, Channing Frye and Jamal Crawford? Crickets.

This is the city of Los Angeles. You've got tinseltown and plastic people roamin' 'round. All the rumors about Bryant going somewhere else were just fantasy. But wait, they had a shot at landing Kevin Garnett before the Boston Celtics got him, because why? Bryant and Garnett both own homes in Malibu? Sure, the cost to fill the tank of a private jet is going up, but... Would that have satisfied the Mr. No MVP?

You would have to think it was fantasy league owners and not NBA GMs shaking up rosters this season. The unusual truth about trade talks was that many of the far-fetched trade notions became reality -- a regular Wild West shootout, thanks in part to Kupchak engineering a deal to land Pau Gasol from the Memphis Grizzlies. All the while, Kobe was sitting in a corner booth, licking his chops and donning a steak bib.

And then trouble came aknockin’. Shaquille O'Neal dared to shadow the Western Conference again and help resurrect the Phoenix Suns from the ashes. And Kobe, well, he’s got his swagger back. He doesn't need surgery for his damaged shooting hand, though it's going to be hamburger when his career is done.

And looking ahead, you could say the biggest trade rumor that never was still has some legs to it. Bryant should be happy now, even if he hasn't exactly been contrite about his pre-season 'Get me outta Dodge' demands.

Should Bryant's team dust a spot for another championship trophy? And if so, when the story is all said and done, you know they'll come back to number 24 and say, 'You remember when you wanted to be traded? How do you feel now?"

Then, and only then, somewhere in the shadows, Mitch Kupchak will have the biggest laugh.