The Undiscovered Country

I thought I was over this . . .

I really did. After 2½ years, I shouldn’t have difficulty writing about what matters to me.

But I do.

Reading zwisis’s last two entries and subsequent comments didn’t help any. Here she writes about the things she cares deeply about, and does so with eloquence and reason. Her entries are so well-researched, it’s difficult to find argument. All the subsequent comments (except mine) are equally eloquent and well-reasoned.

I can’t do that.

I thought I had the confidence and the talent to do so, but since I haven’t written about deep or controversial issues, I haven’t been challenged. I've lost the knack.

However, I always say bravery is not the absence of fear, but moving on in spite of it.

Writing about the weather or what my little one did yesterday takes no courage. Writing about subjects that people have strong – and varied – opinions about does take courage.

I know what you’re going to say now. It’s my blog and I can write about whatever I want. What does it matter what other people think?

It does matter. I don’t write this for me. If I did, I may as well make it private and leave no opportunity for others to comment.

I write to communicate, and if I can’t communicate my thoughts or beliefs, then I waste everyone’s time.

I’ve also learned I can’t write about anything else except what’s burning in my mind. No more entries on any subject until I write the one that scares me.

I will do so, just not today. Tomorrow or Sunday most likely. I have to do some research before I go any further, because it’s easy to state what I think or believe. It’s quite another to prove it, or at least back it up so you understand how I came to a specific conclusion.

Right now I have to go to work for a bit. One of my bosses needs to talk to me.

I hope I’m not getting fired . . .

I doubt it, but I can’t help but think it since I’m not getting what he wants done.

Geez, am I a worry-wart today, or what?