My Journey With Attachment Disorder

Post-Hospital--Psychiatric That Is

Sunday, May 11, 2008



Well, I haven’t written in a couple of weeks. Thursday night, April 24, 2008, we took Tony to Children’s Hospital Emergency Room. We left home a little before 8:00, and didn’t return home until a little after 7:00 a.m. the next morning. There were no beds anywhere in Birmingham, so they transported him to Mountainview in Gadsden. We followed, of course, to fill out the paperwork. It was a terribly hard night. I was sad, angry, scared, and wondering if the hospital would even see what they needed to see in order to really help Tony. However, even the nurse who admitted him readily noticed the symptoms and asked if this was normal for Tony, or if he was behaving this way because he had been up all night (very chatty, and fidgety). The doctor immediately diagnosed him with bi-polar disorder the very next day. He did not change his medication for a few days, in order to observe him as he was first. He then changed his Focalin to 30 mg. Extended Release, and added 3 mg. of Invega. Invega is a new medication, which is a descendant of Risperdal. It is listed in the category of anti-psychotic drugs, but is used also to improved mood, and to reduce aggression. I was concerned at first, but I felt much better once I spoke to Tony’s therapist, and my own psychiatrist. I have no doubt that Mountainview was the right place for Tony, and that God was in charge of the events that led to him being placed there.

Interestingly, I crashed immediately after Tony was out of the house. By that, I mean that I fell into a major bout of depression. As my psychiatrist had explained to me in the past, that response is very common—to wait until after the crisis to “crash”. I was unable to go anywhere or do anything. First of all, I just needed to physically catch up on my rest. I was just past going physically and emotionally. Finally, after catching up on some of my rest, I was able to start catching up on some long overdue housekeeping. I called and tried to move my appointment with my psychiatrist up, but was unable to see him until Thursday, May 1st. He increased my anti-depressant and told me to stay out of work for another week, and see him again the following Wednesday. I improved enough to be able to slowly get my house clean, and get Tony’s room organized the way I wanted it. I also spent a LOT of time reading up on Attachment Disorder and planning ways to make Tony’s return home as successful as possible. We met with Dr. Corbin and talked about that as well.





When I went back for my follow-up with my psychiatrist, I told him I just wasn’t feeling all that much better. He went back to my original dosage of Cymbalta, and gave me some samples of low-dose Abifily. He said that research had shown that a low dose of Abilify had been known to boost the anti-depressant and increase its effectiveness. I believe it has helped me. I did finally get my list of things to do finished before Tony came home. I spent a lot of time reading and re-reading about Attachment Disorder, and the ways that I can help him at home. I also wrote out some information for the school. I have an IEP meeting on Monday, and plan to go over those things with them at that time. Tony will be entering Middle School next year, and I don’t want that to cause anymore of a setback in his progress that absolutely necessary.

Back to Tony: I went alone to pick him up Saturday, because James wanted to and needed to work at camp. He loves doing that, and camp needed his help. It was a very pleasant trip for Tony and me. We stopped and ate at Logan’s. He enjoyed it, and we enjoyed talking. He told me some things about the hospital stay, and I told him some things about the rules. We played games of practicing things like saying, “Yes, Mom,” and “No, Mom.” We practiced saying, “Mom, may I have something to drink?” We rehearsed several things he could do if he gets angry. He could go to his room and stomp on the floor. He could hit his pillow, or listen to quiet music. He could jump on the mini-trampoline. He could go outside and play basketball. We talked about this several different times as we traveled, because I wanted to see if he was retaining the options in his memory.

I also mentioned to him at some point (it might have been later after we got home) that no one expects him to be perfect. We just want him to remember the things he has learned and use those things to help him make better choices. After we got home he inspected the house and loved everything we had done. He loved our new living room curtains, his new CD player, mini-trampoline, and pitch-back net. He loved the way his room looked. We just “explored” his new things, and later on he wrote in his daily journal. We practiced coming when I called him. We practiced asking permission before doing things. By that time, Dad was home, and he used the pitch-back net a while. Then we had supper; he got his bath; we had a really good snuggle time, with his bedtime milk and some caramel candies. I read to him from his brand new book, “Diary of a Wimpy Kid,” which he enjoyed.

It wasn’t quite 8:00 yet, but he started talking about not being able to sleep in his bed. I told him that he would have to go to his room at 8:00 because that was my time and Daddy’s time to be alone. I reminded him that he did not have to go to sleep. He could read or write, or draw, and listen to quiet music; but that he did have to stay in his room. He said, “No! I’m not!” Then he went to our bedroom and said he was sleeping with us. I simply told James to go on over to Grandmother’s. Tony quickly said he would go to his room, if Daddy would stay home. He did go to his room, but I pointed to the clock and told him that he had already used up 10 of MY minutes that he would have to repay the next day.

After he went to his room, James and I actually had a few minutes together—yea! I suggested to James that the next time Tony refuses to go to his room at 8:00, he needs to not say one word, but just walk out the door, lock it behind him, and go to Grandmother’s. I assured him that he would only have to do that a very few times to convince Tony that he would rather have Daddy home than at Grandmother’s, even if it means that he has to sleep in his own room. James felt better knowing that he wouldn’t have to do it for several weeks or months! Besides, I reminded him that I had spent weeks reading and taking notes about Tony’s disorder so that I would understand it better, and that I was prepared to spend 3 hours a day and more on the weekends to help Tony make progress. I said, surely he was willing to spend a few nights at his mother’s house James went on to bed, because he had worked hard at camp. Tony got up about 3 more times to ask me something, or to tell me he heard noises. Each time, I explained to him that he was using up MY time, and would have to repay my time the next day. Finally he asked if he could move his mattress in his doorway, and I told him he could, as long as he did not move it far enough outside his room to block our path. He was probably asleep within 5 minutes!

So, today, Tony paid my time back by sweeping the hall and living room, rubbing lotion on my feet and legs, putting up the utensils that were in the dish drain, and putting some things away for me. He also got lots of practice at defusing his anger. He got mad because Kellye and her friend wouldn’t let him watch a movie with them, and got mad at me at the same time because I wouldn’t let him have a movie that Kellye’s friend offered to give him. (I don’t think it was one that Tony needed.) He was pretty angry, but he did well. First he tried drawing, then he went outside and played basketball a pretty long time—he actually missed lunch because he was still too angry to come in for lunch.



Later, after he was calm, I asked him to write about it in his “Feelings” journal. He asked me a few questions as he wrote, but he did very well with it. Without ever mentioning that he missed lunch, I offered him a yogurt about 3:00. We both enjoyed one together. He got angry again later, when I wouldn’t let him watch a movie he wanted to watch. (He’s pretty darn stubborn). But, once again he went outside and played basketball to release the anger. Afterward, he wrote in his feelings journal again. I let him go to Grandmother’s to watch a movie before supper. After supper I plan for him to get his bath, have snuggle time, and go to bed. He’s already written in his daily journal. Today he chose to draw a picture about his day.



Monday, May 12, 2008



Tony is obviously anxious about his first day back at school. He woke up at 1:30 a.m., and didn’t go back to sleep until about 5:00 a.m. I didn’t go back to sleep at all! However, he did stay in his bed—when he wasn’t coming to me and giving me all the reasons he should be allowed to go to our bed. He says he is concerned about kids picking on him. I have an IEP meeting scheduled for this morning, and will once again mention that this continues to be a serious problem, although I know they are aware of it and are working with him and his peers to improve things. I am also providing them with two documents which explain Attachment Disorder, and how serious it is. I am enclosing a copy of these documents for you, just so you know what I am doing to help the schools understand Attachment Disorder. Mrs. Nelson is really reading the materials I gave her—your handout, as well as the book by Nancy Thomas. I think she is understanding things much better, but I think I would be kidding myself if I thought she would actually really comprehend the importance of the techniques we are using. But, at least she is trying to understand it better.


Warrior Mom

** Image ID #1437731 Unavailable ** ** Image ID #1435990 Unavailable ** ** Image ID #1420491 Unavailable **