Can we talk?

Breakfast

Every week, or almost every week, I go out of town on my days off to stay with my dad. I do the usual chores, appointments on an off day and take off in the evening to see him over 60 miles away. It's a nice country ride and I sometimes listen to books on tape from the library. I stay one day and two nights, leaving early the second morning and driving straight to work.

There are things he can't do because of arthritis in his hands and carpal tunnel, like make his bed. He does his own laundry, cleans the regrigerator, shampoos the carpet, and other household chores. He just can't do things like bed corners. So I pick up the slack and do other little things around the house. It's a big hoiuse for just one person to clean. I do my own laundry while I'm at it.

Our quality time together tends to be in the evening or early morning. I fix breakfast and dinner the first day. He packs a lunch since he's still working part-time at almost 80. The kitchen table is alongside some long windows overlooking the back deck which is full of flowers and chairs and a small solar fountain and wind chimes. Before he has his morning coffee, Dad goes out on the deck and waters his patio tomatoes, his fountain, and whatever else looks thirsty.

He said he wouldn't plant any more flowers since they were just for Mom, but he planted them this year any way.  I don't know if it's a habit, he liked them almost as much as she did, or it makes him feel connected when he looks at them. He still keeps the tray filled with bird seed. When the female red bird lands to feed, he says, "There's Mama's buddy." We watch the blue jays chase off others. Then doves land and feed when they're alone. The wrens will come all the way over to the window looking for seed. When a squirrel lands on the railing, he tells me to tap on the glass. I do, the squirrel runs, and the birds return.

The second morning I get up early to shower and get dressed and throw everything back into the car. He gets up earlier than he has to and makes breakfast for me while I'm getting ready. It's usually oatmeal or a boiled egg which he will even peel for me. I'd be willing to leave without breakfast, but I give myself extra time just to spend with him.

I appreciate his sacrifice, getting up early, preparing a meal for me. I enjoy the peace of watching the birds together, listening to the weather forecast on the radio, and having this quiet ordinary time with someone who loves me. These little moments make a quality life.