SHI BLOGS TOO

I Wrote A Sestina Today.

The January Visitor



You jogged back out into January's freezing cold
night air. Leaving behind brave words of death
just hanging there to ring forever
in my head. "I am not afraid
to die" you said. Then you were gone
forevermore; you only visit now in dreams.

Cherished memories and frequent vivid dreams
prevent my heart from turning icy cold.
For your tender touch and hug are gone,
stolen from me the night of your death.
At least I know you were not afraid,
your fears have vanished now forever.

Only peaceful visions rest with you forever.
Fate took you away from your own dreams,
and left behind those of us who are afraid,
to jog alone out in the freezing cold,
haunted always by your words about death:
"You're afraid of death, Mom. You should have gone

to Uncle Chris's funeral." Now, Son you are gone
too! His namesake, my Chris, gone forever!
What cruel twist of fate this demon called death,
crashed into our lives, crushing all of our dreams.
Leaving trails of sorrow, footprints out in the cold
snow, and January's to deal with and not be afraid.

Oh! Merciful God I cowered from you, afraid
of your mighty powers for I had not gone
to a beloved Uncle's funeral that day in the cold.
Oh! Powerful God, I thought you punished me forever.
Never bringing me peace, and stealing my dreams.
Burdening me with guilt I would take to my death.

By wrongfully thinking I had caused your tragic death.
I spent years suffering, withdrawn, alone and afraid.
Then gradually you began appearing in my dreams
Bringing me joy and peace, at last suffering was gone;
putting an end to my punishing myself forever!
Pulled closer to the warmth, finally in from the cold.

Even though death separates us while you are gone,
I'm no longer afraid, someday we'll be together forever.
'Till then visit my dreams, come in from the cold.

A Sestina

Chris was born January 28, 1966
He died January 16, 1997