Down the Rabbit Hole

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I thought I was feeling better. I fled from the office because I could barely focus and went to him. I don't really want to give up. I tell myself that I do but I don't really want to. I don't think I believe in things as much as I did, I don't feel as secure and I don't feel as confident in things as I once did. Things were tense but we held hands on the way to lunch. There were rumblings of another argument brewing but we both managed to avoid it. I can't take anymore. He touched my cheek once before I left and I thought I was feeling better. I walked through the door of the house and I was instantly sick. Violently. Everything from the 25 dollar lunch he bought us. Life really fucking sucks. I just want to sleep. I want to wake up and be someone else. I just want peace.