Second Helpings

Bathroom Styles

My friend Big Pam was staggered when I told her it only took our plumber three days to replace our bath, sink and loo as well as tiling the joint. I didn't tell her I think my past experiences with said plumber may have had something to do with it. I suspect the poor man was so nervous at the thought of being left alone with the lady of the house who he probably considers has a fetish for younger men and is a bit unstable, he couldn't get the job done fast enough.

But get it done he did and I have no complaints about his workmanship at all. I am on my way to having the bathroom of my dreams. I always wanted a bathroom with a nautical theme (yes, nautical, get your mind out the gutter) and I can see it taking shape, even if slowly.

I now have a new pristine white sink and bath and cool blue tiles. Okay, the pink carpet has to go and the grotty green towels need to be replaced by new ones in shades of blue and aqua. Hubby has painted the walls a suitable shade and I have hung the watercolour picture of a Greek boat painted by my foot tickling friend, John. I've ordered a bathroom cabinet from ebay I think will match and just hope it's spacious enough to house all of hubby's medications.

My nautical mirror decorated with shells, fishing nets and model boats is in place even though it's mounted a little too high on the wall for me to see into it. Not a bad thing in reality. The lighthouse light pull is attached and the beach hut hook on the back of the door. Pretty shell soap dishes are in position and my model lighthouses, boats, seagulls and shells await their new homes.

I'll be on the lookout for soaps, bath additives and cosmetics all in marine shades and soon my bathroom will become the reality I've dreamed of for years. Okay, there's still a few ducks hanging about the place but there's not a room in my house can claim to be duck free so I just have to accept the presence of ducks wherever I go.

I'm thinking I almost have the perfect bathroom I craved. But this morning as I stood at the sink I noticed one of the tiles has a pimple and it just happens to be the tile right over the sink where I stare at the wall as I wash and brush my teeth.

Oh woe is me. My perfect bathroom is no more. I know I'll be honing in on that tile's sticky out bit every day and there's nothing I can do about it. There's no way I can approach our plumber and mention the fact one of our tiles appears to have a tiny nipple for fear of scaring him away forever. I have to live with it until the time arrives that I can leave this place and venture into bathrooms new. God willing.

But tonight I must away to Bedfordshire. Gotta brush my teeth and ponder the pimply tile. Is anything ever perfect in this life?