Down the Rabbit Hole

Disenchanted

On the heels of rough weekend, I'm struggling to gain a foothold on my emotions. I feel as if I have to reign in my thoughts and feelings before they take me down a particular troubling road. It seems I'm floundering, that I'm feeling disconnected and disenchanted and dangerously close to sliding into a bad place. The problem is that I think I've lost a bit of hope and faith somewhere along the way recently. I been thinking about things, lot of things that keep my dreams active and my mind preoccupied. Overall I'm concerned with how unstable and precarious things seem and it makes me feel sad. I'm also feeling more alone than I have in a while, feeling the distance of my sister and my friends more acutely than ever. I missed the yearly gathering in Cape May this past weekend due to family commitments and I think somewhere that missed opportunity registered more strongly than I anticipated. I feel like I should talk to someone but I'm afraid it will incite more problems and tension instead of alleviating things. I just wish things could be a little more like they used to be.