Down the Rabbit Hole

It Smells of Snow

The world outside my window was bright and sunny today, although with the waning hours, its gone progressively more gray. The sky is a muted canvas of washed out blue and lilac and the air smells of coming snows. I'm working to get past work's annual christmas gala and setting up the tools I'll need for 2009. Everyone is hoping that the new year will bring a stronger economy well on the road to recovery. I'm just hoping the new year brings health and happiness. I'm bothered today by a bizarre aching in my jawbone which has risen to the top of my list of "things I am most worried about". I think that must be a good thing. I'm troubled by various other things, among them are the constants of running short on funds, the ailing furnace, my ability to conceive...but those worries have become far less distracting lately. The jaw pain is far more worrisome because it might mean a very unwelcome visit to the dentist - I loathe the dentist.
I'm still struggling internally with the Tammy thing a bit. It has been odd to think about the holidays without her presence but I'm growing more and more comfortable with the knowledge that at least her true feelings about me have been revealed and future disappointments have been deftly avoided. Instead, it has been nice to focus on my life and those friends which have remained steadfast and positive influences on my life. I'd be lying if I said I didn't miss her laugh though, and her unparalleled ability to knock me into hysterics at a moment's notice.