Down the Rabbit Hole

Stimulus

The economic environment has me internalizing a lot of my anxiety and I know that has some physical effects on my body. I'm not sleeping well and when I do sleep, I'm plagued by nightmares. I'm terrified that I am going to lose the house on the heels of paycuts and his sudden unemployment. I'm supposed we are no different than a lot of families out there but it does not help to ease the fear of what could happen. I've been through too much and worked too hard to lose it all now. It seems writing is one of the only things that bring me comfort these days and I've been doing more and more of it. I think that is a good by-product of a bad situation I guess. I'm trying to be supportive but can feel myself growing more and more irritable by day and the mental worries and physical effects of those worries take a toll. I can feel his own frustration and though I try to comfort him, I fear I am failing to be postive enough, hopeful enough. It is as if we are both watching our dreams slip away a little at a time. I continue to work, on whatever I can and continue to write because it brings me some peace. I remain thankful that I am at least still working when so many have already lost their jobs. I pray for the world to improve. I read the headlines each morning but can't bring myself to watch the news where the talking heads spout doom and gloom. I'm already having trouble finding untroubled sleep.