Hodgepodge

Day 3 Task 2

Day 3 Task 2: Write a funny article/monologue on the following topic: "You know you are addicted to Writing.com when ..." Use the title to create as many funny things you can think of that you have either done yourself or seen others do. For example, your spouse calls you to bed and you say "No darling, I've got a headache" as you are still enjoying WDC, your other "life-partner". Minimum 350 words.

"You know you are addicted to Writing.com when ..."

When you have been reading and reviewing so much that the page headers with the Writing.com font float around in your dreams.
You know, it’s bad, when the first thing you do in the morning is log on, to see who replied to your reviews, who reviewed you, and how many other emails from friends are waiting.

When you go about your day, play with children, go to the gym or even shop for groceries, and you can’t turn off the thoughts about your last review, you know you’re addicted.

Have you stopped paying bills, cooking dinner or doing laundry; because you just wanted to “check my Writing.com account really quickly,” and it turned out to be another marathon session until the wee hours of the morning? Sounds addicted to me.

How many times have you had coffee late in the day, to make it through another night of reviews? To finish up that contest entry before the deadline? I know you have, you’re having coffee right now!

You know you’re addicted to Writing.com when you can’t talk about normal TV programs any longer. The names of mega stars are strange to you. The most watched TV show of all times doesn’t ring a bell. Your last bit of information from the real world comes from the headlines your internet provider flashes at you before you click on your favorite link to Writing.com.

You know you’re blurring the lines of reality when your only reason to leave the house is to let your brain rest for your next writing, reading and reviewing binge. Because you know that as soon as you’ve pretended to participate in “normal” life for about an hour, maybe two, you’ll start getting cranky. As you come home, you kick your shoes off, flip the laptop open, or turn on the desk top, maybe both. You probably own two or three computers and live in walking distance to an internet café, to ensure constant and secure access to your own personal vice.

Your Christmas wish list is a comfortable and anatomically correct chair, so you can sit for more hours. The best present you ever received was a laptop table, which now allows you to sit in bed and type away on your laptop. You know you are addicted when you start wondering if there is a way to access your account while on the treadmill at the gym.

Time for an intervention when you realize your kids have stopped growing for lack of regular feeding and your butt has gained ten pounds because all you eat are snacks at the desk or in bed. And I have the very best support group for you. They’re all there with you, ready to love you, understand you, send you their best wishes on your way to recovery. Your 702,000 Writing.com friends will send you their best wishes in emails, forums in your honor and even merit badges. Hours upon hours of emails to reciprocate to and thank you C-notes to send will keep you busy and help you get over the feeling of wasting your time.

527 words without task description