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Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/books/entry_id/667684-Confused
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Rated: 18+ · Book · Family · #1593865
Daily blog/ ramblings of a wife/mother about life friendship and family drama
#667684 added September 14, 2009 at 11:03am
Restrictions: None
Confused
Hello everyone,
The more reading on Codependency I do the more confused I become. It says codependency people are controling people, and I am not a controling person. Most books talk about being addicted to drugs or alcohol. I am not nor have I ever been either.

This is me:
I don't drink or do drugs. #1 designated driver for family and friends
I do smoke. I know I need to quit but Im just not ready.
I do not like confrontations, I avoid then like the plague.
I don't like to argue with anyone, but I am very defensive.
I worry about what others may think of me.
I am quiet and love to stay home.
I believe in forgiveness, even when someone has done me wrong.
I am a very responsible person, .
I believe you can't help someone who won't help themselves.
I am not an enabeler
I am depressed and I do not know why.
I do not like when people talk badly about others.
I don't spread rumors or even listen to them.
I don't judge people by looks, color, religion, wealth, age of spouse, their weight.
I believe if you have nothing good to say to someone then keep quiet.
I want to be happy and I know I am the only one who can fix that.
I worry about everything, this is just how I work.
I am an emotional human being, I laugh when somethings funny and cry over anyone thats been hurt, and sad movies.
I do not smile on command, I am not a puppet. If I know and like you I will smile at you.
I am a doormat, I am working on this. 
I do wish I could make this world a better place to exist, but I know I can only make my place in it better for me.
I wish I were more outgoing, but more then that I just want to like myself and the person I am, because I am good, loving and honest.
I want my kids to laugh often, love deeply and cry when their sad, and always know I will be there for them when they need me.
I love to joke around at times, I do have a sense of humor.
I hate rudeness in anyone.

I just need to know if this all means I'm codependent or am I just human with flaws, because nobody's perfect. If we have emotions and feel for others too much does this mean were sick?

I am just so confused.



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Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/books/entry_id/667684-Confused