Pushing Sixty

Descriptive Writing

depressed sad lonely


low down blue in pain


evolutionarily adapted maladapted too


no reason no clue no hint nowhere


stiff neck neck pain pain in the neck


when when when when when


why why why why why


how how how how how


inside my brain inside my neurons


it's my genes it's my family it's my biology it's my fate


if I were Christian I would say


it's my cross to bear


the wish for death the wish for life the wish for stasis


heavy dense thick coagulated too much in this life


don't worry I won't do it as long as Maggie


is on this earth.


But I close my eyes and imagine what it would be like


to be pure energy, light, and joy


with no pain


no more pain


I am sick and tired of being sick and tired


I'm not the only one, and fanny lou went through far worse


Do I wish for death?


Susan told me, I think the wish for death and the wish for life


in you


are tied together in very complex ways.