Down the Rabbit Hole

Arrivals and Departures

Today has been a steady drone of catching up and cleaning up. At 39 weeks, the baby's arrival is imminent and I'm feeling the pressure to get all those little things taken care of before the big day...whenever that proves to be. Aside from starting to feel very anxious, I'm also feeling the excitement and anticipation of meeting our daughter for the first time. My family is buzzing with that same sweet anticipation, even my normally disengaged mother calls every day or so, her voice barely containing the joy I know she is already feeling for her new grandchild. For me...I'm just trying to reason with myself, keep my fears in check and just stay focused. I'm trying to write more, put my energy into some submissions and distracting myself with projects. With my large belly and lack of libido taking a toll on our intimacy, I'm finding sweet moments with my husband when I just appreciate the simple closeness and comfort of being together. I'm grateful for this uneventful pregnancy and for how this baby has made me healthier and stronger. I am still struggling with the impending separation from my work and how and if I will be able to really disconnect but the stress of those changes has lessened. It is a strange time, quiet and serene yet tense and uncertain all at once.