Second Helpings

Life in the Fast Lane

There was a short update on the television yesterday of Paul and Mey Ling's situation, but we are still awaiting the final outcome of the appeal. The children are unaffected by all the media attention. At the weekend Angel made green potatoes and purple cheese out of Playdoh and declared them delicious, while Dylan discovered the intriguing science of bursting balloons.

In other news my friend Big Pam has announced her burpday outing in April this year will have a gothic theme. In search of suitable attire I turned to ebay and discovered there are 76530 items listed under Goth. Who knew?

I have officially been declared a dedicated Wii Fit member and now have the top level of gold surrounding my Fitpig icon. My weight and fitness level have barely altered since I started using the Wii machine, so I deduce that's another forty hours of wasted time to add to my many other squandered years.

I had a dream the other night about an old boyfriend I haven't thought about in decades. I had just accepted his marriage proposal, only to realise minutes later he had hair growing out of his ears and hands the size of a tiny baby. Analyse that.

A day with no plans has led to one of those frustrating sessions of feeling determined to declutter, clean and tidy up. As usual, I now have contents of drawers and cupboards scattered far and wide, half polished surfaces and piles of stuffage waiting to be rehoused. I think I'm finally realising there's no point to any of these activities as the success rate and enthusiasm disappear well before daylight ends.

So, I conclude life is far more meaningful and enjoyable if I go out instead. Maybe it's time to start accepting all these invitations I keep receiving. I shall no longer turn down Mel Gibson's suggestion of supping Tequila Sunrise together, Brad Pitt's offer of True Romance, George Clooney's request to spend From Dusk to Dawn together, Colin Firth's hints of Love Actually or dismiss Robert Redford's Indecent Proposal.

What do you mean I waste even more of my time watching romantic films and day dreaming?