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Crossroads

      When we come to an intersection, we have signs and traffic lights helping us to choose our way. If we take the wrong turn, we can usually take a do-over, but it costs some time and gas money, depending on whether we circle the block or have to go miles to find a turning around point on the interstate. We might have directions from someone else to help us, or maps, or GPS, or just a backseat driver.

      In life, we come to intersections, or crossroads, without such easy tools or guidance. And do-overs are either difficult or impossible. Crossroads like deciding to go into the military or college or training school. Or getting married now or waiting, moving to another town, breaking up a marriage, or changing careers. I was once in a retreat where most of the people were college or seminary students. We were concentrating on what to do next: graduate school? work in another state? go home for a while? But there were a few, in their late 30's or 40's, teachers and counselors mostly, who wondered if they had gone as far as they could in their career and needed a change, or even if they were getting too old to be effective in their current roles. Two professors were planning on retiring in one or two years and didn't know what would be next. Would they move, write, take part-time jobs, travel, be guest lecturers occasionally? I observed that crossroads could come at any age.

      Sometimes we know the crossroad is up ahead: graduation, a child's graduation, end of military service, retirement, for examples. We may make plans years or months in advance. Sometimes we slam into the crossroad without warning: divorce, illness, death, job dismissal, financial ruin, an act of God (natural disaster). Other times we creep up to the crossroad, oblivious to it or trying desperately to avoid it: a really bad marriage, a child gone wild hurting the family, a job we hate and doesn't pay well, a lifestyle that deep down we know is hurting us. And in all of those circumstances, it's hard to make decisions. It's hard to know what to do next.

    What we'd like to do isn't always possible. What we fantasize will not happen. Other people may be hurt by our decisions or resist them. We may have to put aside our preferences for the safety or welfare of others. We can get advice from others, solicited or otherwise, and choose to ignore it or follow it and regret it. If billboards or text messages came from Heaven telling us what to do next, we still would resist. The crossroad can be a nightmare of anguish and pain. I'm sad to say there are no do-overs.

    At times, the best decision is that I will not decide today. At least for that day, you allow yourself to have peace. And when you make the right decision, a burden is lifted. You know it is right. You may hate the consequences of your actions, but you'll know you made the right choice when you have no regrets, even though the road is difficult.