Second Helpings

Scarlett No Mates

No matter how bad things are I have always felt blessed by the number of friends I have, both on and offline.

I am still in touch with people I went to school and college with, teaching colleagues and friends I've made through various classes and activities over the years. I have online friends going back almost ten years, some from playing games and many from joining this site.

I like people on the whole and the older I get, the more I realise life without supportive friends would be virtually unbearable. I try to keep in touch with those who live away via e-mail, telephone or snail mail, but it isn't always easy to find the time.

I have five friends I normally see every week. This week they've all been unavailable for various reasons. I had to go to Nottingham yesterday, but going alone for the first time in ages made me see how vulnerable and low I feel without my support network. I admit I struggled with feelings of panic and depression as my thoughts were left unvoiced and spiralled inwards.

I know the situation with my Dad is the trigger, but still there is no solution or help. He has finally been moved to the geriatric ward of the hospital, but this means starting from scratch as regards consultants and applications to social services. He had another tumble this morning while working with a physiotherapist; that's the second he's had while in hospital. If a full staff in a hospital can't stop him falling what chance do I have? There is so much more we have to go through before we can come to any conclusions and even then there's no easy solution.

Thankfully, I should get to spend a lot more time with my friends next week, but being without them right now is taking its toll. Family often seem to cause more problems for me than my friends ever do. Bless all their cotton socks.

It's a similar pattern online. In the past I've had so many chat boxes on the screen at the same time I've become so confused I've typed incorrect responses in the wrong boxes, which at times can be quite embarrasing. Nowadays, it's rare to catch anyone online, although I still value these friendships a great deal and feel confident they will continue. It's just life that gets in the way.

WDC follows the same pattern. Friends from the good old days have left or moved to other sites and I accept change is inevitable and nothing ever stays the same. I've tried other sites, blogged a bit here and there, but somehow I've not felt any affinity or anywhere near the warmth I've received here. Admittedly other sites are free and there's a bigger chance of receiving more comments and attention, but that isn't my aim.

This is a writing site and as a writer of sorts, I like to think all my writing is stored here and there's a lot more to it than simply blogging. Admittedly I don't do much on the writing front these days, but the option for many other activities is there. And my blog here is also my friend of sorts. We've been together through thick and thin for five years now and I can't imagine ever recreating what that means to me elsewhere. Nope, I'll continue to whine, rant, wax lyrical, ramble and record the traumas here where I feel amongst friends, old and new.

So here's to friends, be they in the flesh or virtual. Raising my glass and clicking my ruby slippers. There's no place like home...there's no place like home...click...hic.