Second Helpings

Final Straws

I wasn't anticipating a peaceful weekend or expecting to enjoy a minute's peace, but as it is things have spiralled out of control once more and I find myself in a dark place yet again on this dreary, wet Sunday evening.

I wonder at times if I'm just a doom and gloom merchant who sees the downside of everything instead of counting the positives. I feel guilty because I seem to do nothing but complain about my lot in life and find it nigh on impossible to change the way I see things. I think I've had a pretty hard life if I'm honest and the last few years have thrown up more than the average number of stressful problems that are not only highly unusual, but are ongoing and I believe many would find very difficult to handle. I'm only human and not a particularly strong character at the best of times, but I've tried to cling onto the last knot in the rope, though it's rapidly fraying. Let me describe our weekend, then you tell me if your reaction would be the same as mine.

Paul and family arrived on Friday evening and Mey Ling went straight to the kitchen to prepare food for the buddhist festival they were attending the following day. I gritted my teeth as usual as I entertained the kids between demands for sugar, oil, help with opening cans and the chaos in my kitchen. I'm used to it in some ways by now and don't mind helping out if it means it will make life happier and easier for my son. Eventually everyone retires, the snoring starts and because there are no spare beds anywhere, I spend a fitful and uncomfortable night on the sofa.

Saturday morning Paul and Mey Ling set off, but not before we discover they are not actually spending the night at the festival, but plan on returning home so she can travel to Sheffield to go out with friends and Paul can go out in Derby with his own mates. I don't think it very fair of them to leave the children with us just so they can have a night out on the tiles, but accept things have been very stressful for them lately and maybe a fun night out and a lie in may help, so I say nothing.

Hubby takes the children with him to help his 96-year-old mother with her shopping and I dash to my 90-year-old father's house to sort things out there as best I can. We later take the kids to a park, play, feed, bathe and get them off to sleep. My stepdaughter phones to inform us her dog has died and my Dad phones in a flap because he can't get his fire to work. All in all a very tiring and stressful day with not a minute to spare for relaxation or leisurely pursuits.

We're woken early this morning by the kids, I realise I've started with a streaming cold, but it's up and into the fray regardless. It's pouring with rain,the kids are fractious and demanding, we've had no word from Derby as to when their real parents will collect them, so take them to the local playden which they love. Paul and Mey Ling turn up on our return around four this afternoon and after greeting the children agree they'll stay for dinner. The children decide they want a playdoh session. so I supervise them in the kitchen while Mey Ling catches up on her laptop.

Later they want to paint, so we traipse upstairs to fetch the materials, only to discover their mother asleep in bed. Forgive me if I'm wrong, but if someone three times my age had looked after my kids all weekend, the last thing I'd ever contemplate doing would be to sneak off for a lie down. Soft I may be and generally will avoid confrontation, but even I have my limits. I make one sarcastic remark to Paul and expect that to be that. But no...

He wakes Mey Ling, she stomps downstairs with that now familiar, sullen hard done by expression and demands they go home immediately. The kids are snatched angrily from their painting session, shouted at and end up screaming. Paul is stressed to the hilt I can tell, but not wishing to make matters worse loads up the car. Mey Ling goes away without a word of thanks or goodbye and honestly thinks she's been treated unfairly.

Paul phones later, obviously upset and attempts to explain why Mey Ling is so tired and defends her actions, while admitting he can see my point. I have no wish to make things more difficult for him and am not totally without understanding, but am not prepared to stand by and say nothing when situations arise that I feel are totally unacceptable. But it seems each time I do, I'll suffer the wrath and silent treatment from Mey Ling. This time I say so be it. What say you?

But I know I'll start questioning whether it's me who's over reacted. Honestly, how would you feel? If you'd looked after your grandkids all weekend, on top of dealing with added problems and feeling unwell, then your daughter-in-law returned and hit the sack, how would you react?