Second Helpings

Cabin Fever

It is now one hundred and forty-five hours, thirty-nine minutes and fifteen seconds since I have been outside the house or seen another human being apart from hubby and characters on the TV. I've spoken to a few people on the phone between coughing fits but am going stir crazy as all this goes against my nature.

But what can you do when a nasty virus renders you incapable of doing anything apart from blowing your nose, coughing, taking medicine and turning over in bed? I hate being ill!

It's almost two weeks since I visited my Dad and that must be a record. He's okay as far as I know, but it leaves me feeling anxious and guilty.

I spoke to my son last Monday but have heard nothing since. When we've phoned his home there is no answer so we can only assume Mey Ling is deliberately not answering the phone. I can't be doing with sullen, childish behaviour but it hurts to think I could be hospitalised or worse for all they know.

Paul did send a text however to inform us there was a programme on television tonight about the sex trade in Cambodia. It was very interesting, heartbreaking, yet deeply disturbing and leaves me wondering if we can ever fully come to terms with the enormous differences in culture between our own and Mey Ling's. There are no right or wrongs or judgmental opinions but it's so difficult to take on board the values and morals of a totally different society. I wish I could discuss such things with her, but her mindset is Cambodian through and through as far as I can see and much as I know it's important she retains her identity, I still feel she has to adapt for the sake of the children.

Maybe they'll decide to return and settle in Cambodia. Who knows? But what I've seen tonight confirms it is not a safe, healthy or desirable place to live. I can't dwell on it, but there seems to be no ideal solution. I sometimes rue the day my son decided to go travelling but what's done is done. I just want to see him settled and reasonably content and that's not something I've witnessed as yet.

But, tomorrow is another day. I think I have to make the effort to get out into the real world, go and see my Dad, breathe some fresh air and hope for the best. A case of kill or cure I think but a risk I'm prepared to take as the alternative of death by cabin fever isn't too attractive. Wish me luck.