Mercy! Mercy! That Dang Nabed PERCY!

One Act Play, Garbage Cans

One Act Play, Garbage Cans

Scene 2: Cookie Monster sticks his head out of can # 1 and sings.

All the Gold we had in Fort Knox
Is in a vault in the Middle of New York City
In some other countries name….

Mr. B: Head of the Federal Reserve

Good grief was that Jonesey….? sure looked like him…wonder what brought him into this rundown part of the city.? But the message was plain and this is the spot. What could the President want this time?

Second Can opens and President stands up.

Mr. B: Whoa!

I called you here ole buddy to get your thoughts on a certain meddling presidential hopeful who will go unnamed.

Which one is that…?

The one who wants to put us back on the Gold Standard.

Oh yeah... The one who wants to do an audit of Fort Knox, showing metric tons over the past 20 years.

I hope you gave him an emphatic, "No!"

What business do the American People have knowing what's in their bank?

My sentiments exactly.

Geese! Can you imagine what would happen if that cat got out of the bag?

Let's not go there.… You think the debate over treasury bonds, tax deficits and uncontrolled spending was bad..., Let the word get out that we've been quietly selling off the gold reserves and the crapola will really hit the fan.

It would not bode well...

That's an under statement.

It would be a political and market meltdown. We couldn't get the Chinese to sell us a fortune cookie.

How were we supposed to know gold was going to reemerge as a world currency? Should have left it quietly buried at Fort Knox…. Now we've uncorked the bottle and the genie is out.

Shot ourselves in the foot we did….We had a corner on the market and the dollar was whatever we said it was.

It's all Nixon's fault.

The Good Ole Days are over Mr. President… People have quit thinking of gold as a commodity and are seeing it now as a currency. The dollar no longer defines gold..., gold defines the dollar.

What are we going to do when people realize that the definition of inflation is: The Price of GOLD... relative to what it was a year ago?

That will be a sad day indeed... How about when they realize the gold being traded today was once in our reserves…. That we frittered most of it away like we did the Social Security Trust Fund?

We can’t let them find out Mr. President, that’s all there is to it. The Federal Reserve must remain the most closely guarded of national secrets.

See to it that “You Know Who” doesn't get into Fort Knox.

I'm on it.