Mercy! Mercy! That Dang Nabed PERCY!

High Tempo on the Farm

High Tempo on the Farm

Someone out there who is a logical thinker needs to help me. This wrought iron arch I installed has a gate. Now the gate can go to the inside (House Side) or it can go to the outside (Barnyard side.) Further the doors can be installed on either side…. Simply by turning it around. Now here is the perplexing part… on one side of the doors is a locking bolt and on the other are two wrought iron handles.

Now my question is should the handles go to the inside or to the outside or vice/versa? Should they be for the homeowner to go out into the barnyard or for a person on the yardside wanting to get in? In most of the stories I have read about walled gardens it seems the handles were on the outside with the lock on the inside. Somebody out there help me. I find this sort of conundrum worrisome and it will nag at me all day.

Well I discovered that the # 1 tip won’t weld 13 gage steel. Simply not enough heat… You have to go up to the 1.5 or 2 tip. I know all my female readers are overjoyed to learn this arcane and useful fact.

I learned something else interesting. If you have a newer car… One that has fuel injection, you start it without your foot on the accelerator. On older cars the procedure was to push it to the floor to make the manual clutch work and before that there was a pull out choke. Now, I’m told you turn the key and simply wait for the engine to catch. I flooded the Stude this weekend by pushing down on the gas trying to start it…. “Dumb Ass!“ my friend commented…”Don’t you know nuthin?” Sometimes my Stude revs and the accelerator sticks between shifts. He showed me how to hook up a bungee- cord to the return spring on the carburetor…. Said I needed to swap it out every year on account of moisture… looses it’s “snot” he claims.

Every evening I take the dogs for a walk down “Five Car a Day Road.” That is what I named it when we first moved here, even though now the traffic has become much heavier….(Twenty-Five cars a day) Anyway I head off down the road and the dogs and cats follow me….I’m a veritable pied piper. My Golden Doodle likes to play with the cats (Harass) and she runs towards them and slams on the brakes at the last instant or moves elusively behind and gives them a “Goose.“ Needless to say the cats hate this game except for Felix (The Female). She loves it and spins and swipes with her paw and chases that rather large Doodle all over the road. When on occasion a car comes the dogs are trained to come to my wife and I and the cats run for cover…Ever since mad Alice Malarkey (The woman who had her husband buried under the power lines) squashed Dark Vader….(The maternal grandmother of most of the felines and my favorite cat ever) Everybody seems to have a healthy respect for cars…. Everyone that is but the dogs. I don’t know what it is with dogs, deer and pheasants…. Are they dumb or what? Even the turkey’s scuttle out of the way.