The inner workings of a troubled mind.

I'm just a complainin' fool today!

I have come to this blog many times today. Every time was the same. Nothing to say. Well a lot to say actually, but I didn't want to complain about all the things going wrong. Or, shall I say, not going my way. What the heck. It's complainin' time.

Let's talk about the first thing that went wrong today. Now bear with me if you have a good man or are single. And please, don't take offense because I believe that some men get stupid and stubborn all mushed up in their head, mix it up with testosterone, and then speak out loud pissing off their wives or girlfriends. These are simply my observations. On with the story.

My husband woke up grumpy (Oh no!) and began arguing with me about whether or not I gave him my glasses last night. Stupid right? He can be so stubborn and truthfully, I didn't care one bit because I had already found them hours ago. This went on for about twenty to thirty minutes.

After that ridiculous episode, I went on to the kitchen where the never ending pile of dirty dishes awaited me. In the middle of all the suds and scrubbing, his favorite beer glass happens to slip out of my hand and break against another glass. "Shit!" I said. I know he's going to think I did this to tick him off. It was a total accident. Really it was. I braced myself for the inevitable. Another argument, and useless ammunition for him to use in a future fight. Yeah he goes there!

This crap only happens to me. I am the one who gets into odd messes like this. You know, the kind of situation where I look completely guilty, but I am actually totally innocent. 
Allow me to explain.

Say there is a major bank robbery, and I happen to be walking past the scene with a purse full of money. Well, It just so happens that I hit the jackpot at the casino an hour ago.  Anyway, I'm walking past at the same time the robbers are running out, one of them happens to bump into me and our bags fly up in the air causing the money to scatter and fly all around getting mixed up in the process. The cops get there in the nick of time and the witnesses come out and confirm the thieves. "That's her! She's the thief!" One of them will point at me and shout. Then more will join in the accusing and pointing, and I will be arrested along with the real criminals, unable to make my " I just won this money in the casino" story believable. 

Later, my alibi will be confirmed and I will be released. Of course, the money I won will be held for months until the trial is over. The officers will pat me on the back and say something like "tough break kid" or "sorry for that ma'am", and my husband, along with the rest of my family, will crack jokes for the next twenty five to thirty years.