Second Helpings

Moving A Head

I often hear people talk of closure regarding loss or the end relationships, but it's not a word I can really take on board. Of course there's a certain element of relief now Dad's funeral is behind us, but I know there won't be a day or night for the rest of my life that I won't think about my parents. So no, I don't feel any closure as such, but hope acceptance will be easier as days pass. After all, there aren't many people who can say they've reached the age of sixty-one before becoming an orphan. That's a complex topic of mixed emotions too.

I'm not sure about time being a great healer either, but will acknowledge the pain of any loss or upsetting event does become less raw as time moves on. I don't believe we ever fully heal however, but must learn to live with the scars somehow. But as always, I'm trying to take one day at a time and finding them quite a struggle if I'm honest.

We all acknowledge life is ever changing and my life is now bound to be different in some ways. I have spent a lot of time caring for my parents for almost twenty years and the worry of it all is now over. I think there'll be changes, but nothing dramatic or life altering. I certainly don't think I'll change much, but one thing I must attempt to change is the grumpy head I've been wearing for a long time.

Time to search in the bottom of the wardrobe and sort out those different heads. I'd like to find a peaceful one, but hope there'll also be others to choose from like generous, energetic, carefree, determined and be good to others. Of course I can't wear them all at once or people would stare and I'd never get my jumpers on, but I'll see what I can come up with.

Thank you again for all your support and kind words.