Holiday Stories and Poems

The Mystery of Religiosity

The alien teen thought she understood Earthling's holidays, but one thing baffled her.
A Writer's Cramp Prompt:

Tomorrow begins December, the month commonly associated with Christmas, Hanukkah, Kwanzaa and, in the northern hemisphere, the Winter Solstice, known by some ancient peoples as Yule. Write a story or poem about someone forever excluded from any of these festivities.

The Mystery of Religiosity

My parents hate it when I spend too long watching the Planetviewer. Oh, they don’t mind if I tune to Hopsilock or Gratoong where the latest scientific discoveries are broadcast. They wouldn’t criticize me if I were glue-eyed to Snapperset or Krittle, either; although they think philosophical debates are a waste of time. But I flip through those planets with the speed of a falling meteorite, preferring the wild, floshy speel off Earth.

Right now, my parents are away on a quick jaunt off-planet, heading for the second moon where the biggest malls are all located. They’re shopping for a new robot and prefer to pick one out in person. I don’t understand why they’d do it like that when they could simply dial for one -- that's what catalogs are for, after all. But I’m delighted they’re gone. It gives me a solid block of time to watch the latest zanies, what they call “the holidays” on Earth.

Through stolen minutes when Dad was engaged in Ziylum repair and Mom was off collaborating with the mine monkeys, I sneaked in several examinations of the historical myths behind Christmas, Hanukkah, Kwanzaa, and Winter Solstice. I’ve already webbed out the traditions, customs, and colors under each title, so that I can follow the procedures of each celebration. Now I can sit back and enjoy the displays of religiosity. It’s really quite amusing to watch Earthlings plotting and preparing for their individualized festivities.

Dad always calls the Earthlings primitives because they aren’t part of the “Great Body of Worlds,” but I never think of them that way. I believe they’re just different -- in a cool kind of way, you know. I admit it’s totally illogical to drag a forest tree into a domicile, but the Earthlings have so much fun decorating the thing. They drape it with shinies and glowing light throwers. It is my theory that Earthlings put a star on the top of this tree because they can’t reach real stars yet. I feel sorry for these aliens, not knowing how to flit between sun systems. Sometimes, I wonder if Earthlings feel claustrophobic from being so closed in by heavy atmosphere and their inability to travel. Luckily they don’t seem to be aware they’re deprived.

The people who celebrate these holidays give gifts to each other. It would be fun to receive presents all wrapped up in mystery, but there’s really no point to it. Everyone here always gets whatever they want, simply by dialing. And when finished with the item, we immediately recycle it back into oblivion. Yet, there’s that look in the Earthling’s eyes whenever they open up one of those packages – an expression as if they’ve just fondled their dreams. I’d love to scoop up their reactions and taste them. I bet they would be sweeter even than mudge pudding.

All the Earthling holidays seem to involve candles. Light seems important to Earthlings. I don’t understand that part of it, because sputterbugs are always around, even in the darkest of the caverns or in the depths of space. Why do Earthlings format so many light holders when sputterbugs are far more convenient?

Oh, look! I see a youngling wrapping its tentacle around the father. The Earthling picks up this youngling, deposits it on one shoulder, and walks forward. In a moment they enter a tall steepled building with windows of different hued, but translucent, rocks. At the end of this walkway, several reproductions of animals are propped up and surrounded by dead plant life all scattered about on a fuzzy, burgundy-colored substance. Dotted scarlet and white flora border this scene, and one of the Earthlings’ transplanted-but-dying trees has been ornamented with crinkled silver stars and sagging strings of white.

How strange the youngling and her father look as they head down the aisle. It is as if they see something miraculous, something so wondrous their soul-glows are transfixed. Yet, as far I can see, their eyes are only focused on the dead grasses strewn about the burgundy fuzz. Curious at the nature of this celebratory procession, I do not flip to another location. Instead, I edge closer to the Planetviewer and wiggle my tongue at the screen, wishing once again I could taste the flavor of what is occurring in front of me.

The larger Earthling puts down his offspring, and then the youngling toddles up the steps toward the dead grasses. I notice now that it carries a present in one hand, a gift so small I didn’t notice it at first. The present is wrapped in shiny, red foil, and a ribbon of gold streaks sideways across all four sides.

The youngling sets this mysterious shiny-wrapped box next to a small twig-strung basket. Something is inside the basket. I wiggle my bottom closer and turn up the machine’s clarity dial, so I can see better. Yes, there is something there. A small newborn Earthling. I probe for a matter investigation. “Inanimate object,” the analysis machine informs me. Why would this youngling give a present to an inorganic?

Suddenly a Ziylum breaks the sound barrier. I look up and listen. Shortly after, I hear my parents’ voices as they walk toward our domicile. They are back already? I know I must click off the Planetviewer before they see what I’m doing, but how can I disconnect when such an interesting mystery remains unsolved?

The heavy clunk of the new robot decides me. I leave my room to greet my parents with scented tongue probings, as is our custom, but in my mind for the rest of the day lies that unanswered question. Why has an Earthling youngling given that newborn representation a present?

I gnaw at the worry lips of my upper mouth. Is it possible that I do not yet comprehend the exact nature of the Earthlings’ holidays? I vow to examine more closely the mysterious religiosity that adorns Earthling faces with such wonder and delight.

(992 words)

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