Who Do I Think I Am??

This one's about a vital stat-a-thon.

THE PROMPT: "In the tradition of bloggers everywhere, tell us all about your day, in great detail, even the mundane stuff, but especially the good stuff, the parts of your day that inspired you, that motivated you, that showed you the joy in your life. Tell us how your day was, whether you laughed or whether you cried. You know, blog."

Good evening everybody! I'm gonna keep this short because, well, all I've really done today was run a drugstore, and with this being a daily challenge, all of y'all already know how my week's been. But I did learn a few things today (most of which I already knew, but had to be reminded of in some way or another), and I'd like to share them with you in my favorite fashion: emoticon bullet points!

I am not a man of high fashion. I know this much is true. But I also know that, unless you're the first-round pick for a sports franchise about to make millions of dollars, a baseball cap is not the preferred method of covering one's head while wearing a suit you could easily lead a megachurch sermon in. While shopping at a drugstore. On a sweatshirt-and-shorts kinda day outside. My black fedora is now weeping, and it would've looked amazing in the place of this clown's end-all, be-all.

MINI MUSICAL BREAK!! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AR8D2yqgQ1U&ob=av2n

One of the suckiest things in the world is not being in control of your lunch purchase. Seeing that I was the only level of management in the store, I could not take a lunch break. I really wanted Arby's, which is even worse because it's about 200 feet away from my store. An easy walk. So I sent my trusted photo tech over with a piece of paper that had written on it explicit directions for my sandwich: Roast Chicken Club, extra swiss, mayo instead of the Cravin' Sauce, and Arby's and Horsey Sauce packets. Pretty simple, right? No fries, no drink, no nothin'. Just a shaved chicken sandwich with bacon and extra cheese with lettuce, tomato, and mayo on an fancy roll. Cool. She comes back after 20 minutes or so (of what should've been a 10 minute trip), saying how busy it was and nobody seemed to know what they were doing. I opened my sandwich, and it was a Market Fresh Turkey Sandwich. On honey wheat bread with honey mustard . Minus bacon. But they did put mayo and extra swiss on it. Lunch = Fail. But I ate it. Why? Because I can't afford to have an employee out of the store for so long. And I was freakin' starving. The moral? When you're going to be by yourself management-wise at work, don't trust the people behind the fast food counter...bring your lunch.

My first name ain't "sweetie" or "honey" or "darlin'", if you're above the age of 5 and I help you find the crap in my store that you're too lazy to look for yourself.

MINI MUSICAL BREAK!! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uh_gaaUiNs8

A coworker informed me that she would do anything to get out of a DUI or DWI. Interesting. She's like, "I hafta throw it out there!" Interesting. And like most conversations I have with some people, it devolves into a lesser place of morality. She mentioned that those situations are expensive and the penalties are so severe, that she'd have to try anything to get out of it before it got any further, and by anything, she means anything. She's like, "You'd do the same thing if it was a woman cop!" Uhhh, no, I would not! See, girls can get away with anything. Sure, she can flash a male cop and he can be like, "Ohhh, well, be careful and have a nice night " or take full advantage of the woman and be gone on his merry way. But no way in hell am I gonna look at a female cop who's pulled me over, undo my jeans and unleash the Zipper Monster, and wink and say, "Well ma'am, if you want me to blow in that tube, then you can do the same to mine." Cuz you and I both know that not only will I be in cuffs and facing DWI charges, it'll turn into bribery, resisting arrest, and a bevy of aggrivated sexual charges ranging from exposure to forcible touching. Why? Because that's the way the world works. Women have the ultimate "Get Out Of Jail Free" card, and it's called their "body in a state of knowing they control a man by the power of sexuality". FACT.

I learned that if you leave a stepstool in an aisle that you're counting things in, you will come back to see a cart of merch parked next to it with an old lady sitting on your stool. It's hard trying to count the top shelf of the skin care aisle when there's old lady ass on your stool.

Alright, enough about my day. I'm home, it's quiet and peaceful, and I'm done talkin' about this guy for one day. Now's a good time for me to see how all y'all's days went. Peace, and GOODNIGHT NOW!!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AlTEKyIO1T4&NR=1&feature=endscreen