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Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/books/entry_id/765733-The-fantasy-of-what-we-see
Rated: 18+ · Book · Experience · #930577
Blog started in Jan 2005: 1st entries for Write in Every Genre. Then the REAL ME begins
#765733 added November 12, 2012 at 5:00pm
Restrictions: None
The fantasy of what we see
The more I watch One Direction official videos, I realize Little Things is the first one with them shown working. All the other popular ones are outdoor locations. Maybe that is a good message for the females of the world -- you can find packs of boys this good-looking, well-groomed, out in the wild!

I had to document that thought as soon as I had it -- comedy gold in someone's handling.

I also had a more serious and deeply felt thought this morning; the pain of perspective. When people react badly, but it is difficult as an observer to perceive why, perhaps all we need to do is ask what is affecting someone's perspective.

My husband was doing a typical, and totally fine morning ritual -- he wanted to show me a "funny." Some joke or LOL photo. Problem is, the first was vaguely funny and i don't even remember it now. The second, was a "we're expecting" but I got very frustrated, because it was out of context, or otherhow difficult to mentally translate. Like I couldn't even tell what I was looking at. I had my glasses on. My mood dipped strongly at this point. I realized I could not see / process a photo that he was instantly recognizing and getting a chuckle out of its cleverness. Well, I wasn't having that experience.

And that is the idea I began thinking about, as I left the house more surly than I needed to be. When the communication is not happening because your audience is "not having that expected experience.

My daughter had just brought up a similar concern just over a week earlier. Se wanted to know what I think about or feel when looking out at something (in this case I was driving the car, with her as my passenger). And I replied, "Partly because I am driving, I think my experience is very different from what you might pay attention to, if that is what you are asking about. I am keeping my attention around me focused on the other vehicles near us, and the traffic signals, and anything else that might be changing the situation around the moving vehicles. But, at the same time I can appreciate the mountains ahead because it is clear and sunny out, so, I am having a good feeling about that. And what do you see?"

"Trees."

"And so, for me, also seeing the trees, I might be having a different experience from you (or just more to think about or recall) because as I look at the trees, I am also remarking in my head what type of tree it is. That connects to how many plant and flower names I know because my grandmother would remark about them and tell me the varieties."

And then my daughter said, "I don't have anything to feel, or I don't think like that. I really don't think the same as other people, do I?"

And now I see how distressing that could be to not have people think like you do, and to be aware that may be the case. What a hurdle!

Which brings me full-circle on how I was feeling and how it completely changed my morning, just because I felt incapable of getting the joke at the same speed as someone else.


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Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/books/entry_id/765733-The-fantasy-of-what-we-see