Mercy! Mercy! That Dang Nabed PERCY!

Mutternicht

Mutternicht

The reason evolution takes so long is because there is this Elf named Mutternicht who must do the actual programming. Each day he devotes his time to a different species of life and decides the changes necessary to make them more adapted to their environments.

Now in each species there lies a master genome copy. Ten percent is dedicated to servicing the organism and the other ninety percent is hanging about the passages and walls, and this provides a library, an inventory if you will, of all the proteins and combinations there of, necessary for the species to exist in its environment.

Now as an organism putters about from day to day everything runs as programmed. However when a life-threatening situation is encountered, and the fear meter pegs out, an Evolution Red Flag (ERF) goes up and a report is written describing the situation. As the evolution reports build up they are filed for Mutternicht to take up in his Centennial Recapitulation and Product Enhancement Review (CRAPER).

Once every hundred years all the reports are consolidated on a chart and given to the old Elf. He reviews them and makes changes to the genetic code to enhance their survivability. You see everything is connected and it is important to make changes but in a way that doesn’t muck things up too bad… you know the balance of nature and all that.

For Example suppose too many Bees were having their hives raided by bears to the point where the bees were approaching extinction. Well Mutternicht would take out the Bee Blueprint and see if they needed an enhancement…. perhaps a stinger, which he would then program into the genome… If one hundred years later this was still not enough he might add a venom sack to the stinger, to make the pain even more acute for the bears. If a hundred years later this was still an issue he might make the venom lethal in large doses, thereby reducing the bear population that was growing too large anyway, off all the bee honey they were stealing. GET the IDEA? I’m sure you do.