Second Helpings

Bridging Gaps

Last Sunday we attended a church christening, something I can't remember doing in a long time. It was a touching and pleasant service with the star of the show very well behaved and oblivious to what the fuss was all about.

What made this little gathering in our small town very special was the fact several of the congregation had flown over the pond to be here for the christening and hopefully some memorable days visiting famous spots around the area. This is due to the fact the baby in question is of mixed parentage. Her father is English and her mother American and they live in Philadelphia.

Robert the father, is the son of some close friends. He went to Cambridge University then settled in the States to research work on the human brain. There he met his wife Josie and the rest is history as they say. It means Robert's parents here in England don't see their son and his family too often so this was indeed a special occasion.

Sylvia, the little girl being christened has no idea yet her two sets of grandparents are divided by an ocean. But she and I have that mixed parentage in common, although in my case it was my mother who was English and my father American. As we participated in the service I pondered how much things have changed for those of us with mixed parentage and how hopefully it will be much easier for Sylvia to understand and integrate with her family in the future.

I'm very interested in genealogy and have phases when I'm totally absorbed in discovering things about my heritage on both sides of the Atlantic. But it always saddens me that most of the names on my huge American family tree are simply just names. Most are gone now and I never had the chance to meet, talk or communicate with them at all. I have photographs, but when I gaze into the faces of these relatives I never knew it just makes me feel very sad. I lost half my family when my parents settled in England and I have no memories as I was brought over here on the first Queen Elizabeth at the age of one.

My memories of my mother's family are many and clear. All wonderful people I still miss a lot, but who provided me with many happy times and recollections. I am grateful to have those as I realise some never have the opportunity or luck to be able to meet relatives for various reasons. But I have never been able to shake off the feeling I missed out on being part of my Dad's family and it is only now he has gone I realise what a big thing it was for him to leave them all and settle in England. I so wish he had shared more information and been able to keep in touch with them.

But for Sylvia it will hopefully be a much better outcome. Technology enables her English grandparents to communicate with her regularly even if visits are infrequent. They often joke they should wear boxes around their heads when they meet as she has become accustomed to seeing them on Skype. The Internet receives such bad press, but for people in these sort of situations it's a blessing.

History repeats itself and I find myself now with three grandchildren of mixed race parentage. Sadly both Mey Ling's parents are gone, but through the Internet and cheaper, more accessible travel options they will have the opportunity to meet family and friends in Cambodia in the future and learn about their culture and heritage.

There were no such opportunities for travel or internet connections in my childhood, but I am grateful in later life to have been able to make three trips to the USA on the Queen Mary 2 and to have communicated with and met some living relatives over there. There was talk of another trip next year with our friends, the grandparents of Sylvia, but that has now been put on hold. A topic/whine for another time maybe...