Wondering about my Wanderings

Jesus Wept

October 21, 2013

The two words "Jesus Wept" were my life savers when I first started getting connected to sunday school. On the memory chart it was the answer to shortest verse in the bible. In the days when I was ten or eleven this seemed so easy. I'd say the two letters, put a star on the chart and be done with it. All that changed when I entered the doors of persons who claimed that they knew what those two words meant. If only I had known. Some commentaries would go on for pages explaining why Jesus wept. The implication was that Jesus felt sorry for us idiots for not being able to see all that God could and would do through Jesus. By the time I got finished reading I was in the mood to stick my finger down my throat and puke. Why does everything have to get/be so complicated.

I am a football fan and am a amazed at all the technology that allows us to hear what is going on in the huddle and on the sidelines. I can picture God up in heaven whispering into Jesus helmut (beard) "weep"! How else would Jesus know when and how to do it? The power was to be found in exercising that emotion in such a way that others paid attention.
"Hey this Jesus guy must really care and we thought he was just some otherworldly visitor come to free us from from being so weak and pathetic."

I am probably overstating my case. As a youngster I will admit that I did not even know what weeping meant. I just figured something must have happenened, otherwise how would the verse end up on the memory chart. Over time I would learn it meant deep sobbing. There was no mistaking that the weeping person in the group is upset. I can picture going into a stadium or mall and hearing a person weep. I first of all feel sympathy, want to offer comfort/help and then after the mood shifts asking/reflecting "what was all that fuss about?"

It might help for you to know that my dad never cried tears that I ever heard or saw. I felt totally lost when Dad died. That never felt part of the grand plan. Dad died so suddenly. After doing all I could to assuage the hurts of others, I wept. Now I could spend days and pages and days explaining to you why that weeping finally broke loose from within me or just let you just know it happened. I finally realized that it was not all up to me to keep the family or myself together. Just knowing those two words exploding from the deepest part of myself was enough to know love cast out fear and telling the truth in love was the only thing that could set free. One day we will know what really happened and take comfort what we knew all the time. Something no one else could see:
"Jesus Wept".