Perpetual Ruminations

Thursday

This may be my last entry for a while. No, nothing like that, I'm just going to be very busy and don't know how writing in my journal will fit in. I'm not saying I won't, I'm saying I may or I may not, depending on how much time I have left after writing for NaNo. I'm sure I will have some entries during the month, but when and how often is anyone's guess.

Even so, I do like to keep at this, so I may just limit myself to some short entries, as a break from NaNo. After all, I will need to free up some headspace so new ideas can seep in and ferment. This could be the way to clear things out, writing about, if nothing else, how I'm doing in my novel.

Like I said, I may, and then again, I may not; it depends on how much time I have, and if my overworked fingers can press another key.

Now, about NaNo. I am a little more prepared than yesterday when I decided to join and do this. Yesterday I had nothing. I mean, absolutely no idea what I was going to write about. One big dark void, that's it. Today, at work, I put a little thought into a subject. I didn't have a lot of time, but enough to think on it. I took out my notebook, and looked at it a few times while I tried to think of something to write about. No luck.

So, I pushed it aside, and worked on some letters I needed to write and post for work. By the time I finished, I had a faint idea of something I could write about. It was based on an idea I had for an erotic short story. It was only an idea I had jotted down for future development; the future had just arrived.

The original idea was for a short story, and I had only a couple paragraphs outlining the basic subject and plot. Now, however, they would have to be changed some. Not an erotic encounter, but an entire story. And not erotic, but romance and love; how many pages can a person fill with a one night passionate encounter? I mean really, 50,000 words to describe a chance meeting and a one night stand? No way.

So, I used the idea, but I outlined an entire story of two people, a brief history, how they meet, some passion, then they have to part and go their separate ways. Next we move into the near future, their lonely lives and the empty attempts they try to fill the emptiness. Finally, we move forward in time and .... I can't go on, I'd give the ending away. I guess you'll just have to wait for the book.

Anyway, I'm excited to be writing again, it's been a long time. I can't say I'm nervous about undertaking this task, just excited and eager to go. I'm also anticipating the excitement burning off and then having to push myself to continue. I know this is going to come, especially with something of this length and for an entire month; I am not the most patient person.

This also, is exciting, however. To have the challenge to accomplish this will reinforce my resolve and when I finish, no matter how rough and crude, it will be a big boost to my esteem. I will record over the voice that insists it's too long, too hard, and I can't do this right now. In it's place will be a triumphant voice declaring, I did long, I did hard, and I can do this, too.