Perpetual Ruminations

Sunday

It's been a difficult day for us. Yesterday Klarissa was close to her end, but fought it with all she had left in her. She wasn't in any pain that we could tell, but towards the end of the day she began to cry out at times.

I contacted a vet to see about having her put under, but they were all closed and wanted almost double to come in and put her down. If at all possible, we would wait for Monday, and if she still couldn't pull out, we would have her put down.

We made her comfortable, but she would not stay on her bed. Everytime she would just about fall into a sleepful state, she would jump and begin crying out, then stumble to her feet and begin pacing. She was dying, and everytime death tried to take her, she would give her all and get her feet under her, then pace to keep herself alive.

It was a very difficult evening, but we did what we could for her. We administered pain medication to keep her from suffering, and we also gave her a sedative to calm her outbursts of crying and calling out. We stayed with her, held her and l lie down by her. We caressed and hugged her, talked to her, and comforted her to the best of our ability.

Finally, we put her on the bed with us, made her nice and comfortable, and tried to get her to sleep. around midnight she did fall into a deep and peaceful sleep. At one this morning she began crying out, convulsing, and then died, all within less than a minute. Her agony was over, and she was able to pass from this life in our company and with our compassion and comfort.

It's very difficult for us, Hyko, our other Golden Retriever, Rhonda, and I. Klarissa has been a part of our lives many years. Klarissa was just three months old when Rhonda and I met, and Hyko has not known our home without her.

She was a one in a million dog, and never knew she was not just another member of the family. She was smart, had a wonderful personality, and an imagination unlike anything I've seen in any animal. She was more of a child than a canine, and her loss is just as difficult for me. I am thankful I had the opportunity to share our lives for twelve years, I doubt I'll ever know another as special as she was.

I'm planning on writing something in her memory and will add it to my port.