Blogocentric Formulations

The Great Blog-Off - Prompt 3

*Written as part of "Invalid Item" 

Prompt: Think about your journey as a writer. Which novel do you think represents or most relates to your journey? Why? Which book do you want it to be like?


If the prompt didn't specifically say "novel" and "book," this prompt would have been a no-brainer. It'd be a combination of the "Return of the Kane" episode of television series Veronica Mars (season 1, episode 6) and the movie Adaptation. As a quick summary, the Veronica Mars episode is about a student election where rich, popular kid Duncan Kane is nominated for class president (against his wishes) by friends who want him to win against an outcast kid who is gaining support from the rest of the school for her commitment to abolishing school policies that favor the rich kids. Duncan resists the idea of running for class president and actively tries to discourage people from voting for him. He ends up winning, and Veronica tells him that she's disappointed that he's just cruising through life and not taking a stand for or being passionate about anything. Her pep talk convinces him to find a happy medium where the school policies stay in place but where the rest of the school is also eligible to participate. In Adaptation, Nicolas Cage plays a writer struggling to write a meaningful, significant screenplay based on a book, with a subplot where his brother finds success writing generic action movie fare.

I can honestly say that I relate to both characters equally well. I've been Duncan Kane for a very long time (minus the whole popular and rich part ), kind of drifting through my writing career, never really taking a stand for anything or investing in anything. I haven't really struggled all that much in my life. School came relatively easy for me, work comes relatively easily for me, and writing comes relatively easy for me. If I just show up and give it a little bit of effort, the results are usually good enough to get by. I haven't often had to really apply myself, dig in, and give something 100% of my concentration and effort (yes, I was the kid who didn't study but could walk in, take the final, and walk out with a B+/A- ). I know that's resulted in a bit of an apathetic approach to life (and writing) where, like Duncan, I'm often guilty of "coasting" rather than really deciding what's important to me and taking active steps to achieve it.

At the same time, I share Charlie's (Nicolas Cage's character) struggle to want to do something great, and his feeling of disappointment at the results of his work, especially while others around me are finding success with their own projects. Like Charlie, I've accomplished a bit with my writing in the past, and people tell me I'm a good writer. So it's a constant struggle to try and replicate that success; to feel like I'm living up to the expectations that what I write must be good and isn't allowed to disappoint. Charlie and I are often trapped in a repeating loop of doubt and uncertainty that they thing we're working on just won't measure up to what others want it to be and - more importantly - to what we want it to be.

It may not surprise you to find, then, that the book I think best represents my writer's journey, at least in theme, is Catch-22. Joseph Heller's novel introduced the title into our modern vocabulary, and is defined as:

1. A problematic situation for which the only solution is denied by a circumstance inherent in the problem or by a rule; or
2a. an illogical, unreasonable, or senseless situation.

- Merriam-Webster

When I'm being totally honest with myself, I know my inner Duncan Kane vs. my inner Charlie Kaufman are at odds. I desperately want to write something meaningful and significant, but few writers (and I'm definitely not one of them) are capable of writing something meaningful and significant without a whole lot of trial and error, whether that be writing and rewriting the same manuscript or always working on something new and pushing your own boundaries. I'm definitely in a "problematic situation for which the only solution is denied by an inherent circumstance," and I totally realize the unreasonable senselessness of it. As long as I'm Duncan Kane, I'll always be Charlie, merely wanting to achieve the remarkable without actually putting in the hard work to get there.

So which book would I want my writer's journey to be like?

Is this where I say "Harry Potter for the book sales and the merchandising and the theme park rides and the movie deals!" or "The Bible for the number of readers I've reached and affected!"?

Nah, those both seem a bit presumptuous to me.

If I wanted my writer's journey to be reflected in a book, it would be The Count of Monte Cristo by Alexandre Dumas. Obviously the wealth would be awesome, but I'm particularly drawn to that book for Dantes' near-mindless dedication to his cause. He will not be dissuaded; he will not be denied. He's motivated and has the means and ability to see his plan through. For a "coaster" like me there's something appealing about someone who is so single-minded in his focus that he'll allow nothing to get in his way. Where Dantes needed wealth to carry out his plans, I don't need fourteen long years in the bowels of Chateau d'If to happen upon the tools I need; I already have the ability to write. Now if only I could develop his commitment and laser-focus...

Maybe being locked away with nothing to do for fourteen years is worth considering... then again, I enjoy fresh air and open spaces, and I don't think my wife would approve, so I might have to find an alternative method.

And hey, I even have an analogue for the whole "revenge" element! When I was in high school and had finished writing my first screenplay, I - being a naive teenager - immediately sent letters off to all the major studios and agencies in Hollywood, asking how I could go about about becoming a screenwriter. Most didn't reply... others sent form rejection letters... but one respondent in particular not only sent a form rejection, but also included a very nasty handwritten note to accompany it, telling me to "do [myself] a favor and research on [sic] your future before bothering anyone again."

To this day, I still have that rejection letter saved in my work files and all I can say is, "Whoever you are, 'B.' from Universal Pictures, you're my Fernand and perhaps we'll meet again one day..."

So, in a nutshell, my writing journey as viewed through some of the world's classic and most famous literature would be encapsulated as a very, very long time fighting a Catch-22, with future plans for a lucrative revenge plot a la The Count of Monte Cristo against all the doubters.

I wonder, though, does that include myself?