Blogocentric Formulations

A moment of love, a dream, a laugh, a kiss, a cry

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DAY 8

Song: "Sweet Disposition"
Artist: The Temper Trap
Album: Conditions (2009)

I suppose we should take a little break from Trent Reznor's music for a little while...

Today's song, which is the biggest and most mainstream hit for Australian band The Temper Trap was a favorite of mine long before it had any kind of special significance. It's just one of those songs that's heartbreakingly simple and touching... so I guess it's not a surprise that I chose it to use in my grandfather's farewell video.

In 2011, the only grandfather I'd ever know (my father's father died during my dad's childhood) passed away. It wasn't entirely unexpected, but it was abrupt. All three of my living grandparents at that point lived within a 10-minute drive of my parents and brother, so my parents visited them several times a week, helped them run errands, etc. For a few years, my grandfather's condition had been getting progressively worse... not due to any disease, just the fact that he was over 90 and not as sharp as he once was, so there were lots of bruise and aches and pains from falling down, tripping, etc. He and my grandmother lived in a retirement community for the past several years of their life, but my grandfather was fiercely independent so he resisted the idea of using a cane/walker or letting someone else drive him to appointments and such.

Anyway, in early 2011 (February, I think), my mother called to tell me that my grandfather wasn't doing too well. Nothing to worry about, but it just seemed like he didn't have a whole lot of time left and she wanted to prepare me for when that call did come that he had passed on. She didn't know if it would be ten days, or ten weeks, or ten months... but it seemed to be coming. I told her I was going to come up and visit my grandfather as soon as I could so I'd at least get one last chance to see him. I was busy for the next couple of weeks, but I'd come back home right after that. Two or three days later, my dad called to say that he had passed away and my mom was staying with my grandmother for a few days.

Before this story gets too sad, I should point out that - as far as passing on goes - it was a pretty good way to go. I'm told he passed on quietly and peacefully in his sleep, with my mother and grandmother by his side, and that they knew the moment he was gone because his body (which was still recovering from his last spill) seemed to relax and his face finally looked relaxed and at-ease. So whatever regrets I may have about not getting to see him one last time or the pain I feel for my mother literally having her father pass away in front of her are mitigated by the fact that he had a good, long life, and he passed away peacefully surrounded by people who loved him.

I've only been to a few funeral services in my life and I've never been the person to get up there and give a speech about what the deceased meant to me or anything like that. But it seemed wrong to just let my grandfather go without any kind of a farewell; to just sit there while other people talked about him seemed wrong somehow. My grandfather had always been an avid photographer, so I ended up using a lot of his old family photographs (and after nine decades of living, there were a lot of photos!) and assembling them into a photo montage that we played at the reception after the service. Much like "Thank You, SM & SMs!" , it was a series of photographs framed around two songs... in this case one of my grandfather's favorites, "I've Got the World on a String" by Peggy Lee, and one of my favorites, this one from The Temper Trap. It was the best way I could think of to say goodbye to my grandfather and to give everyone else a little something to remember him by.

As an added bonus, you can see the video I made for my grandfather below. I uploaded it to YouTube so that it could be sent to my cousins and relatives who weren't able to make it to the funeral service.