Hey, life? Are you kidding me?

Facebook Posts

I like Facebook, I do. It has reconnected me to some great people in my life. It has entertained me when I needed the freedom of not having to think deeply. Occasionally, it has provided a quote or insight that touched me that I promised myself I would remember (but most the time don't). I've learned things, like: there are 25 uses for dryer sheets, lavender oil can do anything, and none of the world has understood how to use aluminum foil despite the directions on the box.

But once in awhile (okay, every time I sign on), I find myself asking people (in my head of course) "What were you thinking?" or "Surely, someone has hacked your Facebook".

First of all, if you are posting updates more than three times a day, you are seriously delusional about how interesting you are to people. Maybe, it's just me, but I'm lucky if I have 3 post worthy events in a month.

Next, game requests - I'm an adult; I can make that decision all by myself. No matter how many requests you send me, I'm not playing candy crush or grown up Dungeon and Dragons. Now, SongPop, that's a completely different story!

Please, don't get me wrong. I know I have posted stupid things even without the assistance of alcohol, but it is not a continual habit. I think the next reality show will be Facebook Intervention - No One Cares!

Don't even get me started on grammar, and it's not because I'm an English teacher. It's because I'm an adult, and one goal in our lives is to not demonstrate to the world we don't know how to spell one syllable words or understand the difference between your and you're.

I gave myself five minutes to scroll through and find messages that might prove my points. Here they are:

1. Excitement was bountiful last night at the in-laws house. This was accompanied by a shirtless man in bed with two dogs. It didn't peak my curiosity; it made me glad I don't have in-laws.

2. De jongste headbangers die je vandaag zult zien! I don't even know what language this is much less what it means.

3. Thanks for nothin'! Is this like one step above talking behind someone's back? I'm pretty sure it wasn't directed at me since I haven't seen this person in 20 years. But seriously, could you not send a text? Because at this point you look pissed off and chickenshit.

4. Let the disinfecting begin..... This is a house I really want to visit? You have to post when you are disinfecting? yum

5. Don't axe me nothin'! Your English teachers must be so proud.

6. Happy Veteran's Day to all! Do you own a calendar?

7. Found it! Oh good, we can all stop looking for your common sense now.

8. Ohhh looky comes in bigger version No idea what they are talking about, but a part of me is happy for them.

9. Zoo Time!!!- First, in no way do I find the zoo worthy of three exclamation marks, and all the pictures, really? It's not like animals have changed their spots or stripes.

10. Is there a nice soul in the town of _______, that could buy and bring me a Pepsi. I'm broke. Hmmmm... you can afford internet, but not a Pepsi? Oh, I know broke, trust me. But I'm not going to throw it out there for the world to see.

11. Home from the store. - Whew, that was a close call. Congrats!

Don't even get me started on the quizzes. What kind of animal would I be? What adjective describes me? Who was I in a past life? Actually, don't get me started on them, because I freakin' love them!

Bottom line: It's my fault. It's not like I'm being forced to read their posts, but it's like a Nascar accident, you can't help but look. I could thin out my friend list to say people I actually know, remember, or care about, but seriously, who only wants 8 friends on Facebook?

Going to eat a popscicle now - yum!

Audra