Blogocentric Formulations

Wodehouse/WTMR Entry #7 - Questioning Myself

ACTIVITY: "a very Wodehouse challenge" 
GROUP AFFILIATION: "Welcome To My Reality Forum" 
PROMPT: What made you question yourself today?

                   

I'm going to cheat a little an actually talk about something that made me question myself yesterday. My wife and I got back from our family reunion with enough time to make our church's last service of the weekend on Sunday night, and found ourselves being treated to a sermon about love. Not romantic love, but general love and affection for our fellow human beings. The guest speaker delivering the sermon had a lot of really great perspective and interesting points, but what really struck me was when he asked this question:

What's that one thing that's keeping you from loving people the way you know you should?

For him, it was his cell phone and social media. Whenever he had a free moment, he would check his phone, surf Facebook, and do just about anything else rather than live in the moment and build relationships with the people around him, even if it was only for a few moments. It's not that he's an unpleasant guy; he just thought it was an awful lot of work to make conversation and invest in other people when it was easier to invest in an app on his phone that could pass the time.

I realized that I'm the same way, and it's due to my social awkwardness. I don't know what it is, but I don't do well in small group settings. One-on-one, I'm fine. As the center of attention in a very large group setting (like giving a speech to an auditorium, etc.), I'm also fine. But small groups of anywhere from three or four people to fifty make me really uncomfortable, and it's because I don't converse very well. When I don't know someone and I'm making small talk, the conversation tends to be awkward and staccato. When people are separated into smaller groups, I have a difficult time knowing when to transition from one to another, how to ease into a conversation other people are having, how to extract myself from one, etc. I often find myself suddenly alone and my first instinct is to pull out my phone... not because I want to be checking Facebook or my email, but because it's easier to look busy than to stand around awkwardly - all alone - wondering if/when I'll have an opportunity to join another conversation.

What the sermon made me question was why I avoid situations like that, and whether I really want to be that person. Do I want to be the person who rides an elevator in silence and flips through sports scores on my phone until one of us arrives at our floor? Or do I want to be the person who actually greets people - even strangers - in that elevator and asks them how their day is going?

The sermon really made me question myself because I want to be a more sociable person. I like people. I enjoy connecting with others and yet I often find myself playing the part of the quiet, unsociable, introverted plane seat neighbor who never looks up from the book he's reading rather than taking a few moments to greet someone and find out about who they are. Starting today, I promised myself that I would go two weeks without sticking my nose in my phone every time I felt awkward; that I would take the time to greet people whenever the opportunity presents itself.

One of the things I've discovered is that people are friendly (and a little surprised) when someone random that they don't know asks them earnestly how they're doing.

The other thing I've discovered is just how many people stick their nose in their phones to avoid conversation.