Wondering about my Wanderings

On empty

I am empty today. I woke up and wished I could stay in bed. The funny thing that I am discovering is that people are still there for me in abundant ways during this dry time. I woke up to my dog wanting me to take him for a walk. I spewed all manner of frustration to my caregiving company and instead or firing me for my lack of confidence and feelings of failure they sought ways to build me up to where I could feel like walking again.

I have a lot of trouble trying to figure out what the empty feeling is all about. I think part of it could come from being unsure about what is going on with mom and her battle with illness. What is intimidating to me is that she is so happy and even joyous despite it all and here I am feeling empty and alone. People deal with stress in different ways. My faith will deliver me and love will win the day. Only in confessing emptiness can we know what it means to be full.