Perpetual Ruminations

Monday

Today was a short day, I got off work at nine this morning. I was up around three, and to work by five, but only had to work four hours before getting to come home. I could get used to these kind of hours in a hurry. Of course, I didn't get much use out of being home so early, but that's a whole different issue.

I was home in time to catch Rhonda doing her dance routine, which is always a joy to watch, and then I visited with her while she got ready to go to work. Normally I would have had today off, but that all changed just recently. Now the norm is for me to go in and open, around a quarter to five, and then Rhonda comes in at eleven and relieves me. It works nice, she can bring the two dogs along in with her, and I bring them home with me. But, it also means we don't see much of each other during the week when we work.

Today, there was some training going on with the store's management, so they needed three hours out at the guardhouse. I got done at nine, and Rhonda did not have to go in until noon. Kind of a nice change, and again, something I could get used to. I could also get a lot done with the extra time, but that wasn't the case today. Yes, these kind of hours would be great for time, but they would be very hard on the pocketbook.

The issue with not getting much out of the extra time started last night. Sunday is an easy day, not having to go in until about a quarter to eight. So, I kind of get to sleep in, and catch up a bit on my rest. But, being so overtired this last week, I ended up napping some on Sunday afternoon, anyway. Then, as is typical, I wasn't tired when it was time to go to bed. I did get to bed relatively early anyway, but had to use a sleep aid to get to sleep, and then it still took a while.

As a result, I slept pretty sound all night, but it wasn't the nice restful sleep a person gets when they sleep naturally. Instead I work this morning feeling groggy and having a difficult time getting woke up. I managed the day at work, came home and enjoyed some time with Rhonda, then tried to take an early nap. I don't have to work tomorrow, and we want to sit out and enjoy a fall fire tonight, so I thought I better get a bit more sleep.

This would have been fine, and I would have only slept for an hour or so, if I could have gotten to sleep undisturbed. But, that was not the case today. the first disruption was the phone, I had just dozed off dreamed  the phone was ringing. Eventually I woke enough to realize it was ringing and got up to answer it. My brother had called, but by the time I got to the phone, he had hung up. "Fine, I'll call him back later, after my nap."

I was back in bed and soon sleeping sound again, only to get woke up to the dogs barking. It took a minute to sink in that someone was banging on the door. And, they kept on banging and banging as I got up, dressed, and went to see who was there. Nobody I knew, just some guy wanting to know about the old van parked in the drive way. He said he salvaged vehicles and wanted to know if I wanted to sell it. I told him not for less than six hundred bucks, and I wanted the tires off of it. He left.

So, it was back to bed again. And again, I woke to the phone, and again it was my brother calling. As before, he hung up without leaving a message, right before I got to the phone. I decided that a nap was just too damn much work, and sat down in my chair with a cup of coffee. I got on the laptop and the next thing I know the dogs are barking, I about dumped the computer on the floor when I woke up with a jump, and again someone was knocking.

So, I set the computer aside, got up and went to the door. Nobody there! They did leave some literature on who I should vote for, however. Since I had fallen asleep sitting up, I decided I would try again to lie down and take a short nap. It was almost three now, and I would have to get up in about an hour to an hour and a half to get dinner started, but that should be just enough time for a nice nap.

I snuggled into the quilt and was soon sound asleep, but woke to the phone ringing. I had taken it in to the bedroom, so I picked up the handheld and looked to see who was calling. Nobody, just spam. Of course they let it ring until the answering machine picked up, left a bogus message and then it was quiet again. I looked at the clock, ten after three. Still time to get a nap in, and I really needed sleep.

I gave it one more try, and again the phone woke me up, again it was nothing but some marketer or something similar. So much for the do not call list, they still call, and some days it's almost nonstop. Today was one.

I got up, turned the damn phone right off, went to the bathroom and then went back to bed, it was now three thirty four. I had an hour I could sleep, and it would have to be enough. But, now i could not get back to sleep. I would just about doze off, then some little noise or movement would get my attention. I needed sleep something desperately, I could feel the need, but sleep just did not want to come. I told myself I would try some deep breathing and try to clear my mind, and if that did not work, I would get up.

I know the problem was just knowing as soon as I fell asleep, something would wake me. But I had turned the phone off now, I reassured myself. So, I focused on breathing and let my mind clear -- what time is it, should I get up yet. "No!  I focused on the deep breathing and let my mind slip into nothing... and then I was sound asleep and in a wonderful dream.

In my dream, however, someone started yelling. I couldn't make them out, but I could hear them. Then I felt the dogs jump down and soon they were barking and grumbling along with the yelling. I realized I had not dreamed this, there was someone yelling. Right out in front of the house, close to the bedroom window.

It was the obnoxious neighbors across the street, the kid was in front of the house, yelling something back across the street to his mom, who was yelling and screaming back at him. I got up, considered going to the front door and yelling something myself, then changed my mind. Besides, he had moved on and the yelling had stopped. It was now a quarter to four, and no time left to sleep.

So, I got up, got some coffee, and tried to pull my head out of the fog that had settled into my brain. I finished the coffee, got another cup and started working on dinner, still foggy and kind of out of it. I have been all night. I feel beat, tired, wore to a frazzle. I'm thinking I would have done better to not have slept at all than to get a few minutes of sleep, then get woke right before I slipped into the deep, restful state I so desperately needed.

But, I'm determined to enjoy the beautiful evening, since it's likely the only chance we will get to have a fire in the next few days before having to go back to work. I think a nice relaxing evening beside my beautiful wife, in front of a dancing fire, sipping on a cocktail will do me wonders. Besides, I don't want to go back to bed until it's late, and there is no one left up to disturb my slumber, late enough the phone will not ring, late enough no visitors will come knocking at my door. Late enough I can slip into bed beside my loving wife, wrap her in my arms and pull her close, and drift swiftly into the sweet nothingness of deep sleep.

A fire, a drink or two, and then -- it's off to Never-never-land