Perpetual Ruminations

Monday

It's been quite a while since I've written in here, November 18 to be precise on the date, and it's time to get started again. I have also been thinking about writing in 750 words again, but I'm not fully decided yet. If I do, it won't be a combined write like I was doing. Instead of writing my journal entry in 750 words and then copying it over here, like I was doing, I will write them individually.

The problem is time. It has been for some time now, and it's just not getting any better. It's also why I haven't been into WDC for over a week, and why so many other projects don't get done. It's frustrating, to say the least. I try to organize and schedule in an attempt to utilize time better, but it just never seems to work out. Most of the time, it's things beyond my control, and I have no choice at all. Other times, I do have choices, but I'm so frustrated that I just don't have the motivation.

A lot of it seems to be job related. I'm not just talking about the time I spend at work doing my job, but also the time I spend doing work related tasks from home. It's part of the job, I know, but it just seems that there is always something pending or coming up, and it interrupts plans and schedules. Also, there are so many times I have to work for someone who calls in. Sometimes it's legitimate, but many of the calls are just a bunch of bull.

It's not just the workers, but even my boss. I send a schedule to the corporate office before the period begins, and I have to go through my boss to take time off, so I know the office is aware of what days I work and what days I'm off. Even so, many times the office will call me bright and early on my days off. In addition, each time I have requested and gotten paid time off, my boss has called during the time off.

Many of the things I'm contacted about also require me to go into work, a fifty mile round trip, and often take an hour or more to complete. Now, understand that I only get paid for the time I am at work, doing my job as a security guard. Anything other, whether it's at work or at home, is done off the clock. Also, I do not work with any other guards and cannot do much while working on the clock. No phones, no computer, no electronics at all. So, in order to do any of my supervisory tasks, I am required to do them off the clock.

I do get paid more for this, seventy-five cents more, per hour, while I'm working on the clock. It doesn't even come close to compensating for the amount of time required to do the job right, but that's another story in itself. Here we are concerned with the time factor, not the compensation.

What it comes down to is the simple fact that I cannot leave work at work. I have to take my work home with me, and I never know when work will interrupt me. I also never know if or when I will get called and have to run in and work because someone didn't show up, got sick, or couldn't make it due to weather. All this tends to create quite a bit of stress and anxieties, which means I don't always sleep the best, and always have a lot on my mind.

Now, consider that I have to be up around three in the morning to get to work on time, and often don't get more than four or five hours of sleep, and you can see that I am also always tired and run down. When I do have time, I'm stressed, anxious, and tired, so I tend to not get much done.

I have worked at getting to bed earlier, and I have made some improvements. If my job doesn't interrupt me, I may just get a handle on things yet, but so far, that seems to be very limited. Also, it's winter, and there is an increased likelihood of people getting sick and having weather related problems.

What it comes down to, is I have limited time, and I don't even have the ability to schedule it to fit my needs. If I do, it's certain that something will come up and I will have to break my schedule anyway. After a while, a person just gets tired of trying to work around everything. My wife and I have both tried to add some control into the factor, but the job just won't allow it.

So, with limits on time, I have to try and find some way to prioritize how I spend my time, and what I spend it on. This seems like the only place I can make any improvement right now. The only other option I see, is to find a different job.