Wondering about my Wanderings

Forgiveness

I think forgiveness has to happen at a lot of different levels. I have struggled trying to understand why my ex is being offered and encouraged to fill pulpits wherever she can.

But then God reminds me of my own journey. I was given a chance and the few times I filled the pulpit (I was an extreme introvert) allowed me to see that I had something to offer on a small church level. As I contemplated that journey, I experienced myself saying wow as to what my ex has been through. It could have only been by the grace of God. She experienced the death of her brother shortly after the death of her dad. When her car did not work she was faced with driving the kids in a beat up old van. Her mom broke her hip, she continued to work, going to seminary, ministering, dealing with her own health issues and in the midst of unending trials she maintains her faith.

I need to let go and see what God has in mind. She is being encouraged to develop her giftedness that has been there all the while I pastored. She has forever been in church. I know only to pray for her. May God put her wherever she belongs and help me God to be patient with the whole process.

I do confess I am somewhat troubled knowing that she will be speaking to me. Maybe more than anything that means I need to face something in this life, knowing that there is a next life right around the corner.