Cabin Fever

A Congratulatory Kick in the Teeth

7-28-03

Tonight I'm lost.
I don't know where to go to reach you,
or how to go about it.
I think I've said all I can
after everything I thought I couldn't say.
I didn't try to throw you away
but it's harder trying to bring you back.
My mind's repeating;
like hearing a song
and thinking that it's telling me
everything I don't want to hear you say to me.
I'm walking a fine line,
because I don't know
how many come-backs you've got left
in you.
Your heart's let your mind forgive me
more times than I've already deserved.
Now after my worst
(actions and pitiful reactions),
I stand here ready to fight until our peace
through a Thousand-Year War.
I'll wait as long as I have to to prove my innocence.
I'll clarify my indignations
and sanctify my fears.
I'll stand the test of time to prove
every ounce of my love for you.
I'll leave you standing with a tear on your shoulder
as you wait for me to dry it
with my white flag of knowing resolve.
I'm strong enough to admit I was wrong.
I'm smart enough to know as well
that I could've prevented
everything that's led to your ill-contempt.
I can't speak for everyone
who's told you how ridiculous I was,
but I can tell you how I was
and how I always felt.
If the voices in your head
don't want to speak for me,
then I'll know I never meant as much as you spoke of.
Let them tell you lies,
because they'll never hear my heart sing
the way it has for you.

As wrong as I was,
the truth remains as clear as a new day.
And as long as you hold on to
as wrong as I've ever been,
then may love again
kick me in the teeth
and show me
that I don't deserve its worth.

I can't stand to be wrong
anymore.