Perpetual Ruminations

Wednesday

I'm enjoying a day off today, but it's been so long, I continue to look at the clock to see if I need to get ready for work. Also, I woke up at three this morning, the time I set the alarm for when I work openings. I didn't get up, but I woke up and told myself I did not need to be up this morning. It took a few minutes to really sink in, then I rolled over, snuggled up to Rhonda and drifted back off into blissful slumber. I woke again, as Rhonda did also, at five this morning. That's the time we get up on Sunday for work, and the time my regular shift starts.

This time I did have to get up, but I waited until Rhonda returned to bed. Then I got up to go to the bathroom. I looked at the clock when I came out, since I had the kitchen light on and wanted a drink of water. It was 05:07 and the new guy should already be on duty. Of course, if  he didn't show, I would not get called until a quarter after or a little later, and I was tempted to stay up, just in case. I had to tell myself that he did fine, and everything is alright, I won't get called. I even thought about firing up my computer and logging into work, just to make sure he was there. Crazy, but it's just been so long since I had the mornings covered.

I had to tell myself to go back to bed, and sleep in. As soon as I was back in bed, Rhonda rolled over and snuggled right up to me. I didn't fall right back to sleep, but instead continued to find my mind wondering back to work. It's become very difficult for me to not think work. In fact, I have become aware that work has taken over and my personal life has been stuffed on a shelf collecting dust for some time now. When I first took the position as supervisor, I knew this was going to be the case, and with all the problems, it was needed.

But, I took care of the problems, got everything working smoothly and turned things completely around. We went from getting the lowest scores of any of the sites to the highest. In fact, we surpassed everyone and set new records for our efficiency a few different times. Last month we made another all time high for the month. At 2 for 85 we are meeting the stores expectations, at 2 for 75 we are doing a great job and meet our companies expectations, and at 2 for 65 we are performing above expectations. We usually score about 2 for 62, which is fantastic. Last month we scored 2 for 50.

So, I figure I've done my duty for the company, and I feel it's now time to take my life back. things are running smoothly, but we are short on help, so I've been putting in a lot of work hours, and a lot of my own time as well. Now, we are covered for all shifts, but still short one person, so there are some long hours yet. Even so, I'm back to getting a couple days off, and it's time now to enjoy them and spend them on activities other than work. But, here I am, with two days off, and my mind continues to drift to work and what needs to be done, what needs to be covered, and what may come up. It's insanity, I tell you.

I know, it's been going like this for two and a half years, it's going to take a while to reprogram my thinking. I know it will take a little while to change this and get my life back to where it should be, work on one side, my personal life on the other. I'm already working at it, and even though it's kind of difficult, I'm determined to have a life outside of work.

XXX

On a different topic, I seen a link to try the new BETA version for Writing.Com, and I gave it a try. I like the setup, and am actually in here again today. Yesterday was the first time I tried it out, and as is normal -- I think -- I kind of played a bit here and there, even with some settings. Somehow, I managed to make a lot of big changes to my settings here, and things were kind of messed up when I logged in today. I'm not even sure if I have them all set back to what they were before or not.

I had to look at the Writing.Com 101 to even figure out what I did. That's what happens when you mess around with things while half a sleep and three quarters out of it. But, as always, the site here has wonderful instructions for finding and doing, and I do believe I have everything set back to normal. I'll give it a little while and see if anything else is messed up, but like I said, I think I'm set back to the same settings I always had.

If by chance you find something that's not working, send me an email or something so I can reset it. I just hope I'm not set at some privacy setting and nobody can access my stuff. I looked and it seems they are all back to open for everyone.

Thank you.

XXX

Updated at 16:00, I no longer am having a day off. the phone started ringing at noon, and I had Rhonda go in and cover the rest of the guards shift while I got into the paperwork and faxing. The guard we just hired had to leave early, an emergency situation came up. I almost turned my phone off, but decided to keep it on, just in case. Now, I'm wondering if tomorrow will be a day off or not. I have not heard any updates on the status of his emergency.


This only reinforces my resolve to find a way to get my days off. But, that means we need to have another person hired to do fill in at times like this. It also means that the store needs to call my office if they cannot reach me, instead of just calling my phone over and over. Rhonda is going to make sure they have the office phone number, as well as my boss's.