Perpetual Ruminations

Thursday

Where to even begin? If I wanted to vent about work, I could write volumes. I finally got two days off, yesterday and today. I would up working both, and will have some long hours for the rest for the rest of the week. It only hammers home the point that this job requires more than I am willing to put into it, and more than I get compensated for.

There was a good reason why I had to give up my days off again, even if I have not had any this month yet. That's not the problem, it's compensation for the extra that's required, recognition for all that I put in, and a little bit of help from the office so it isn't a whole month of no time off. But, none of this is going to happen. And, even if it did, I would turn it down, it does not supply me with the time I need to pursue my writing, and that is my one true passion.

On the flip side, I did get to sleep in yesterday. I also enjoyed a nice morning with Rhonda, before things went haywire. And, even though the afternoon was shot to hell, we did get to enjoy a nice evening with a fire out on the patio. We didn't get to stay out there very late, since I had to get up and go in to work today, but even that was alright, since it turned pretty cold last night.

I have also been doing a lot of thinking about things, and it's clear what direction I need to go. I need to reduce my hours and put that time into writing. It's not just reducing the hours I work, it's reducing the amount of interruptions and off site work I'm doing. I'm not sure just how to accomplish this, yet. I can turn my phone off around five-thirty, but that would not leave me much time for writing, since I'm up at three and would be in a vegetative state by then.

But, I am determined to follow through with this, I will make the time I need to write. I know it's not going to be something sudden, but over the next few weeks, I'm going to find a way to get my hours cut back and I'm going to figure out a way to get my messages for work, but not while I'm doing my writing.

I'm excited about this decision, and eager, and that's going to be the most difficult part, weening myself off from work and back into writing. It's been three years like this, and if I move to suddenly, it's going to have repercussions and cause even more problems, so it's slow and steady...