Everyday Canvas

Heartbreak and Maturation

Prompt: In his book, titled Consolations, David Whyte says, “Heartbreak is how we mature.” What does heartbreak mean to you? Do you agree with the author that heartbreak is necessary for us to mature?

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I am not so sure that heartbreak is that necessary for maturation, but first, it would be a good idea to define what heartbreak is. In my opinion, when we care for people (or an idea or an institution), in any context, and are disappointed by their actions or rejected by them, the disappointment and the sadness we feel can be called heartbreak.

Heartbreak can be an indication of our sincerity or gullibility or helplessness, because it is helpless we feel while experiencing heartbreak. Yet, the question is: Is heartbreak a problem to be solved in our adjustment to life on earth or is it a teaching tool for our emotional growth?

If adjusting to heartbreak is maturation, then yes, heartbreak has something to do with maturation. Still maturation is a whole composite concept that includes many other things such as the richness and frequency of life experiences, education—both formal and informal--, and adjustment to our expectations from life.

At least some of our maturation happens from not what happens to us but from observing life around us. In that way, heartbreak is not all that necessary. If it were, the more heartbreak there would be, the more mature a person it would make, and it isn’t so, in my experience. I’ve seen people who suffered numerous and serious heartbreaks who have turned into bitter, depressed people.

The most mature people, again in my opinion, are those who feel unconditional love for everyone and every aspect of life, a godly state which is usually unattainable. If it were, the worst ones among us would be Mother Theresas, and the rest of us…well, I can’t exactly imagine, but we would be walking on water and air.