Can we talk?

Dealing With Alzheimers

         I was at dinner last week with friends. One couple is retired. She is getting confused somewhat. She knows every word to every Broadway musical song, and she still has a pleasant voice and carries a tune well. But some days she doesn't know which purse is hers, or where she left her coat. One day I was a little upset like several others when she suddenly didn't know the man with her. She told him he wasn't her husband. People wanted to help and reassure her, but she didn't want them staring at her. After a few hours, everyone addressed him by name and she left with him to go home.

         He is so patient with her. He looks rather thin and frail himself. He's always polite and friendly. She is nice, too, actually, just frightened sometimes. At dinner the other night, she was doing okay. I watched the two of them having conversation just among themselves. The smiles on their faces made me think they were on a date, not having known each other long. I realized she's not a burden to him. He loves her. They are still tender with each other. They still show interest in what the other says, unlike so many other established married couples.

         What I saw in them, despite the burden they bear, is a long burning flame that troubles can't extinguish. They still have that sparkle in their eyes. They are very fortunate to have each other. I know it's hard for him. But the joy of being with someone with whom you've spent decades must make it bearable. I;m certain that he would not have it any other way.