Down the Rabbit Hole

Confronting Slander and Smear

Blog City Nov 9th Prompt: Sometimes parents, lovers, partners, and friends--knowingly or unknowingly--tell untruths about a person’s life. How would you handle such a false narrative of your life, if untrue stories and presumptions were said about you especially by someone close to you?

This is a difficult situation. There is something uniquely devastating about dealing with betrayal within our most intimate relationships. I had a friend with whom I shared a twenty plus year friendship with who I believed was a true soul sister, a lifetime friend. It became clear, as my life moved through the milestones of marriage and my first child, that she harbored some feelings of jealousy or resentment that caused to her act out against me. Slowly my family and friends began to come forward and repeat some of the things that were being said about me, about my life and my choices that were not only categorically untrue but very hurtful.

It is sad to simply toss away a friendship that spans so much of our lives together. We had been through so much over the years and there were moments when I felt she had been a rock for me. I hadn't wanted to believe she wasn't sincerely that person I had come to know and trust. I finally confronted her and over time we have made some strides. I still care about her and wish her happiness but I never really got over the trust that was broken. Today, she is still in my life but I don't believe she is the kind of friend who is able to be truly happy for me. I think it was always easier for her to love and support me when I was down and needed her, when things were not going well for me. And while I appreciate that, a true friend feels happiest when you are happy, when good things happen for you, to you.