Can We Talk 2

Whiners Are We

         It's so easy to be a complainer. There's always someone around you who will join in with the whining and negativity. The people around you do make a difference, and you can't always control that. You don't choose your co-workers, unless you're the owner. You don't choose your patients or your customers, and have limited control on your vendors. Your family of origin is yours to keep, no matter what they're like.

         However, you can choose your friends. The people with whom you socialize are your responsibility. If they are downers, and complain about things a lot, it's time to get a new social circle. I've known some really nice people who fall into this negative thinking. It shows up on Facebook and daily conversation. If you can't convince them to change, you can leave them behind. Most of us aren't qualified psychotherapists. So if a change of topics or a positive response doesn't change their course, it's beyond our abilities. They have been victims too long, or have gotten their own kind of rewards/reinforcement by staying negative.

         But you can influence some of those other people-the ones you can't get away from. When they start whining or complaining, walk away; don't join in. When you have the opportunity, you can take a positive attitude or be grateful to your employer or fellow workers. I've caught myself wanting to lapse into a "this is a terrible place to work" kind of thinking. I immediately change my attitude and concentrate on the positives. I want to be pleasant as long as I take a check from them.

         Encouragement is one of the great gifts that we can give to other people. It takes so little from us. People of all ages need encouragement, not just children. We never know all the unspoken heartaches around us every day. A pleasant voice, good manners, and something uplifting can help anyone. Wait people and retail workers really need something nice once in a while to balance out all the complaining and demanding. Old people need encouragement. Poor people need encouragement. Nurses need thanks and encouragement.

         Odd. When we encourage other people, we feel better ourselves.