Angel Whispers

With a Little Help from my Friends

Another five days have passed with high and very mixed emotions, but what would we do without other people and special friends? I feel truly blessed on that front.

Things went well with Big Pam. We shared coffee, lunch and the inevitable bottle of wine. Pam is still Pam and I am still me with new and deeper scars. Only the fun and happy memories from the past were shared and it was if the five years we missed melted away. We both have different commitments and paths to travel, but we will keep in touch and meet up when appropriate. I do not need routines or a timetable to live by. I am very happy to have her back in my life.

Saturday was the celebration of my friend Jane's 50th birthday in my favourite town on Newark. It was bitterly cold with smatterings of snow, but it was good if emotional to be surrounded by my sister, my gals and Jane's lovely, eccentric family. My sort of people. It also gave me the opportunity to visit a specialist shop in the town where I have been put in touch with a genuine railway enthusiast who is going to come and evaluate David's very large collection of railway models and memorabilia.

Unfortunately Sunday was Mother's Day in England; another occasion that guts me having lost my own blessed Mum and now being a mother with no partner. My husband always treated me very generously at this time as thanks for our son. I told Paul and my stepdaughter Louise I wanted nothing as it would only upset me. I so wish these so called special days could be played down as so many people are reminded of sad occasions and the main reason such a fuss is made in these times is for profit. Yes, I'm still a huge cynic. Fortunately I still had my sister with me and despite our rather delicate heads we managed to make our own way by train, tram and feet to meet Paul and Mey Ling with the grand monsters for a meal out. It was good to see them and the children. We are all hurting but are honest and hopefully comforting for the little ones.

My friend June and I have joined a gym with excellent rates and facilities. I don't think we'll be pumping iron, spinning or running on treadmills, but they have a fabulous swimming pool and some very therapeutic classes. This morning my sister and I went a long walk on a very cold but bright day, then June picked us up and drove us for a lovely swim and hot pool session. Sis has gone home now and of course my spirits have dipped and the pain is still raw, but I have survived another five days of grieving with the help and support of others.

One day at a time...