Can We Talk 2

Kids and Aggressive Play Things

         Keeping kids neutral is difficult to do. One young parent decided her child would have no weapons. He did not have guns, swords, or superhero weapons. He had limited exposure to TV and videos. The other kids didn't play with guns or weapons, including space guns, at preschool or at his house. But before he turned four, she noticed he was using his hand to fire at other children or animals. He was still aggressive. As much as she tried to keep him gender neutral in his play, and non-violent, he turned out the same as if she had not placed all those restrictions.

         My nephew, who is overprotected, and constantly monitored to be gentle, is an extremely aggressive child. You have to look out for yourself, as well as old people and other children in his presence. He will use a walking cane, broom, or whatever is handy, to strike out, when he's wound up. It's not an indication of anger or vengeance. It's just his nature. We're hoping it's just a phase he'll get out of SOON.

         Of course, girls are not always dainty little angels either. We have some who go for babies and make believe, but they will whack the devil out of anyone who gets in their way. Girls will bite, pinch, or hit as readily as boys. Little girls do seem to be drawn more to sparkly things, ruffles, jewelry, and frills. A three year old boy will reject those things without hesitation.

         Is it nature? Or is it something in the environment that we just can't control? If we work at not reinforcing stereotypes, but it happens anyway, we might as well accept what happens. We just have to keep them safe and try to teach the golden rule.