Evolution of love

The inspirational leader

By the middle of 1885 Sri Ramakrishna had developed throat cancer. … Kali recalled: “One day Golap-Ma said to the Master: "Dr. Durga Charan of Calcutta is a reputable physician. Perhaps he can find some remedy for you". Immediately the Master agreed to visit him. ... The next morning the Master, Golap-Ma, Latu and I went to Calcutta by boat. ... The doctor examined the Master's throat and prescribed some medications. Then we went to Ahiritola ghat and rented a boat for Dakshineswar. It was about half past one and none of us had eaten. The Master was hungry. He asked the boatman to anchor the boat at Baranagore ghat and then asked me to buy some sweets from a nearby market. Golap-Ma had four pice with her, which she gave me. I immediately went to the market and bought some chanar murki (small sweet cheese balls). The Master took the packet of sweets from my hand and joyfully ate them all ... and showed his satisfaction. The Master knew, that the three of us were hungry, yet he had eaten the sweets without sharing anything. Amazingly as soon as he showed his satisfaction, our own stomachs felt full. We looked at each other silently. Then the Master smiled and like a boy began to make jokes, continuing all the way to Dakshineswar. We all got out of the boat, and later the three of us discussed among ourselves what had happened and realized, that it was a miracle.

Such an event occurred when Krishna had enacted his Divine Play (when Krishna ate few grains of rice and a little spinach, and by doing so, filled the stomachs of Durvasa and his disciples). ... So it is said: "If God is pleased, the whole world becomes pleased". That day I realized this truth by observing Sri Ramakrishna's life.

In September 1885 Ramakrishna was taken from Dakshineswar to 55 Shyampukur street in Calcutta, in order to have his cancer treated. Several reputable physicians, notably Dr. Mahendralal Sarkar, attended him; Holy Mother took the responsibility of preparing his diet; and the disciples, including Kali, nursed their guru around the clock. Kali recalled: “One day the Master was in deep Samadhi, seated on his bed like a wooden statue. He had no outer consciousness. Dr. Mahendralal Sarkar checked his pulse and felt no throbbing. He then put his stethoscope on the Master's heart and did not get a heartbeat. Next, Dr. Sarkar touched the Master's eyeballs with his finger, but still the Master's outer consciousness did not return. The doctor was dumbfounded. After some time the Master returned to the normal plane of consciousness and began talking about God with the doctor.

It may be asked why the Master had cancer. … Once while staying at the Shyampukur house the Master said: “The Divine Mother has shown me that people are getting rid of their sins by touching my feet. I am absorbing the results of their sinful actions, so I am suffering from this terrible cancer”. This is called “vicarious atonement””.

On 11 December 1885 the Master was taken to the garden house in Cossipore. … One day the Master told his disciples: “This cancer in my throat is a ruse. It is because of this that you have gathered together”. …

One day Kali’s father came to Cossipore and told Ramakrishna that his wife was crying bitterly for her son; he requested the Master to send Kali home for a visit. Ramakrishna immediately sent Kali home; his parents were delighted to see him. Kali wrote in his autobiography: “With tears in her eyes my mother asked me to have supper and to stay for the night. But within half an hour I felt uncomfortable at home. I felt as if I were burning in hell. My heart was restless and thoughts of the Master haunted me. I tried to control my desire to run away from home, but failed. After hurriedly eating some refreshments I said "goodbye" to my parents and returned to Cossipore.

The Master was surprised to see me and asked: "Did you go home?" - "Yes, sir, I did". - "Your parents must have asked you to stay at home. Why did you not stay?" - "I did stay". - "How long?" - "For half an hour". - "But why did you return?" - "I went with the idea of staying home tonight. My parents also begged me to stay. But I felt great agony while I was there, and I longed to return to you. While there I felt as if I were in hell, so I ate a few sweets and hurried back here, after saying "goodbye" to them. My mind was pacified only after arriving back here".

With a faint smile the Master said to me affectionately: "Very well! There is no doubt, that you will have peace here". In fact I always felt peace and joy, when I was around the Master. Parental affection seemed insipid compared to the Master's pure love”.