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Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/books/entry_id/887603-Family-Values
Rated: 13+ · Book · Comedy · #2090066
Who wants to be President?
#887603 added July 17, 2016 at 7:01pm
Restrictions: None
Family Values
Bob and Karen Kuntz were hard working
pollsters for the The World Press.
They prided themselves on their tolerance
and multicultural world view.
Bob liked to think of himself as a
self taught psychiatrist and Karen had
worked her way through college as a
sex therapist and stripper.
They were very secular and hygienic.

Their son Ha and daughter Heyawn excelled
in swimming and philosophy.
Everyday at the family dinner, they would
all talk about their interests and encounters.
Ha remarked that his Koi had fry.
Perhaps, he will sell them to the pet store.
Heyawn had something similar to say,
"I decided to get pregnant a few months ago.
But, I wanted to choose the type of child.
I went to a sperm bank and made a purchase on
a credit card you and dad cosigned."

Bob dropped his chop sticks,
"Your 16! Jesus freaking Christ!"
Karen embraced her daughter and kissed her,
"We will cherish our grandchild.
Did you do a DNA check for defects?"
Bob had risen from his floor pillow at the
dining table and punched a hole through
a rice paper wall.
"You don't have a job!
Who the Hell would allow you to buy sperm?
Your only 16!"

"Dad, don't you remember? You emancipated me
upon my first menstruation." Heyawn explained.
"Oh, yes dear. You wanted to honor our Jewish
lineage." Karen answered as she rubbed Bob's
back. Bob bit a bread stick and sat back down
on his pillow. He looked nauseous.
"Could you raise a child?" Bob asked as he lit
up his pipe. "Absolutely!" Heyawn answered with
a big toothy smile, "We'll raise her together."
Bob put aside his tea and poured some claret.
Karen brought out the salmon.

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